A highly detailed proposal for Microsoft's stores leaked online late Friday afternoon, and if it's real, Redmond's first foray into retail appears to be following the usual Microsoft formula: Roll up the best ideas of others and muscle their way into our wallets, if not our hearts. If you weren't already depressed about the state of retail, Microsoft isn't peddling the ailment that'll cure us.
The PowerPoint presentation (naturally) takes us on a journey of "Emily," a hot mom, for lack of a better term, through the Microsoft retail experience. Highlights include many of the same features we parodied last October as being extremely tired retail cliches: There will be an "Answer Bar," a ginormous video wall around the whole store, community areas, and of course, plenty of computers to play with "Microsoft's innovative technology."
Let's quickly take these one by one:
Guru Bar: Guru, eh? Real original. In the company's defense, Microsoft Genius would have been an even bigger oxymoron. How about wizards? You could have staffers in big cone hats that also happen to resemble dunce caps, which is what this whole idea is: Stupid. Much like the whole retail "bar" concept, which is so played out, I am waiting for a "concept" restaurant to offer customers a "Bar Bar." Simply schedule an appointment online and you can talk to a snooty person in a hip t-shirt who may or may not fix your mood.
Video Wall: Unless you're Amish, you've probably seen a video screen before. I don't understand why companies think this is so cool, but they sure do care that theirs is bigger than anyone else's. A middle-aged company like Microsoft can't drive a Porsche, so I guess this is their only other option.
Community Area: If I'm tired, I'm more than happy to sit down in your store for awhile on one of these benches. But let's not pretend that there's a community of Microsoft fans who are going to gather in your store. And if you can't get it naturally, you can always create contrived ones: Read the media wall slide and you'll see that the plan calls for "moments of "Inclusive Exuberance" in the store. Maybe everyone will vomit in unison from being surrounded by flickering video screens.
Interactive kiosks: I actually love this idea. If Microsoft had had these stores last spring when I bought a Vista-enabled PC (that I returned 12 days later), I could have saved myself a lot of trouble.
To return to the serious matter at hand for a moment, the proposal focuses on Windows 7, Surface, PCTV, Xbox, and its Mobile products, although don't worry, Excel fans! It does appear that every member of Microsoft's happy, sexy family of products will be on sale or display in some way, shape, or form. I wish them all the best.
[Via Gizmodo]
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Related Stories: | Topics:Innovation, Technology, Design, microsoft, retail, apple, nike, sony, surface, windows 7, PCTV, xbox, Microsoft Corporation, Redmond, Microsoft PowerPoint, Microsoft Windows 7, Microsoft Xbox |
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Recent Comments | 11 Total
July 25, 2009 at 8:35am by Emeri Gent
What I learned here today is that I too have the habit of talking about monolithic descriptor rather than realize that each corporation is made up of thousands of people.
I think it is more appropriate to kick off with what one likes and then go downhill from there. That order of operations is critical because it is telling how it is we view our own world.
So David Lidsky's article revealed to me that I too must start with the positive and then see how downhill I then go. Truth is a very important thing but it is so much better beginning with peace, even if it ends in war. I am not a flower child for it is the market that decides retail fate.
e.g.,My Attitude about Microsoft
July 25, 2009 at 9:15am by Steve Martin
"Redmond's first foray into retail" ?
Really? I seem to remember a Microsoft store in SFO opening 8+ years ago. In addition to his sloppy research, Mr. Lidsky makes some unfortunate choices (hot mom?) and the snarky tone belongs in the blogosphere. There was a time when FC editorial coverage was crafted by responsible professionals, did you lay them all off?
July 27, 2009 at 2:02am by Richard Murphy
How many trips to the Apple store did it take to copy ideas this time?
July 27, 2009 at 1:50pm by Justin Roff-Marsh
My goodness. Is this meant to be an extension to FC magazine or just a repository for leftist rhetoric and anti-MS vitriole. This column is really getting tiresome.
July 27, 2009 at 1:50pm by Justin Roff-Marsh
My goodness. Is this meant to be an extension to FC magazine or just a repository for leftist rhetoric and anti-MS vitriole. This column is really getting tiresome.
July 27, 2009 at 6:18pm by Brendon David
Well written and funny. I could care less about Microsoft vs. Apple discussion.
I like that Lidsky did a great job of revealing a weak approach. When any company takes the "me too" approach and offers nothing new or creative, then they deserve to have people comment about it. When this sort of thing happens, the snarkier the better.
re: Justin Roff-March's comments.
Those were classic. I totally laughed out loud.
Keep up the good work, Lidsky.
July 27, 2009 at 10:21pm by Varun Arora
Completely agree with Steve's view. This article belongs on TechCrunch (a site I follow and respect, btw), not on Fast Company. The personal bias in this story is unacceptably strong.
- Varun
www.homecamera.com
July 28, 2009 at 4:18pm by Chris Hyacinthe
Surface's in store would be incredible. I wouldn't buy anything at these stores, but I'd be all over the Surface demos.
--
Chris Hyacinthe
http://www.twitter.com/chrishyacinthe
July 28, 2009 at 6:46pm by Billy Felix
WOW! I could be wrong here, but I'm getting the feeling that you really don't like Microsoft. Actually the hatred and anger spewing from this "article" is very sad. It's just a store man! The beauty of it is that when they open, no one is going to force you to go in there. I went into an "Apple" store once to return an iPod that I recieved as a gift and never had to go back again. The "Genius" that helped me was very offended that I would have the gall to return a product that was made by his company and was very "snooty" towards me, which made me very happy. While I was in there, I didn't see anything that was truly innovative or original. It's just a store. So, take your blood-pressure medicine, throw in your wonderful white earbuds, crank up some Enya and patiently wait for the 4G iPhone to come out errr....whatever the next "ground-breaking" device Cupertino puts out. And don't write anymore "articles" please. Cheers!
August 30, 2009 at 9:18am by Robert Henderson
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