Self confidence is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. If you want to become self confident you need to do three things. First, become an optimist. Second, face your fears and act. Third, surround yourself with positive people.
While I think that all three are important, if forced to rank order them, optimism would come in first. Dictionary.com defines optimism as, “A disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.” Self confident people expect the most favorable outcome – and they are often proved correct.
I came across several quotes about optimism last week. I’d like to share them here…
“The essence of optimism is that it takes no account of the present, but it is a source of inspiration, of vitality and hope where others have resigned; it enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not to abandon it to his enemy.” Dietrich Bonhoffer
“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” Mary Lou Retton
“The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.” Robert Brault
“The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity…I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use being anything else” Winston Churchill
“Health, happiness and success depend upon the fighting spirit of each person. The big thing is not what happens to us in life - but what we do about what happens to us.” George Allen
George Allen’s quote doesn’t mention optimism, but I think it captures its essence. Optimistic people realize that bad stuff happens. They also realize that they have it within their power to choose to react positively and to make good things happen. Like Winston Churchill, they see opportunity in tough times.
I did a talk for the Colorado Chapter of the Penn State Alumni Association last Saturday. The talk was titled, “How to flourish, Not Just Survive in These Tough Times.” My goal was to help my fellow alums apply my Four Cs of Success model. I wanted to show them what they could do to ensure that they were least likely to get laid off and most likely to get promoted.
I spent a lot of time discussing self confidence and optimism. I borrowed a page from Dietrich Bonhoffer. I stressed the fact that optimism “is a source of inspiration, of vitality and hope… it enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself.
I talked about how facing your fears and acting – even if you fail – can help you hold your head high and claim the future for yourself. Every time you look your fears in the eye and act, you are becoming a more self confident and optimistic person. You are daring to try. Only an optimist can do that.
After the talk, several people approached me to thank me for my words about self confidence and optimism. They said that things had been getting them down lately, and that they were about to give up on some of their dreams. They said that my talk gave them the will to keep on trying and to do whatever they have to do to make their dreams a reality.
The common sense point here is clear. Successful people are self confident. Self confident people are optimistic. They take action, even when they are not sure of the outcome. By facing your fears and acting you become more self confident and optimistic. You become more self confident because you dared to act – something that is not always easy. You become more optimistic if you succeed because you have conquered a personal demon. You become more optimistic even if you fail, because you learn one of the great truths of life – failure is seldom fatal.
That’s my take on self confidence and optimism. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading.
Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. If you want to become interpersonally competent, you need to do three things. 1) Get to know yourself. Use this self knowledge to better understand others. 2) Build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life. 3) Resolve conflict amicably and with minimal disruption to your relationships.
“Give with no expectation of return” is one of the suggestions I make to people who want to expand and strengthen their relationships. I follow this advice myself. That’s one of the reasons I write this blog – to help people who are interested in building a success life and career.
On Monday, I did a blog post in which I highlighted Linda Salazar’s great book Awaken the Genie Within. I wrote the post because I loved the book and thought it would be helpful to success seekers.
As it turns out, Linda thought that it helped her too. I received this e mail from her the next day…
"Bud,
"I am deeply touched by your blog write up that includes so much information about my book. You are obviously a man who walks his talk and you should know you have engrained yourself deep in my heart because there are not a lot of people in the world who do that.
"Thank you so much. And I would like to reciprocate on my blog when I've gotten a least half-way through your book. I started it last night and am enjoying it greatly.
"Understand this is not because I have to! This is truly because I want to and that's just the way it is!
"What's so wonderful is the detail you give about yourself and your life at the start of the book - a perfect way to get to know the author before delving into his book - gives it such a personal touch.
"Have a wonderful day and I'll be in touch.
"Blessings,
Linda"
Pretty cool, right? I was trying to help readers of this blog by writing about Linda’s book – you really should get it and read it. Linda saw it as helpful to her. She took the time to write me a very nice note, and offered to reciprocate on her blog.
Linda and I now have a relationship – one that can benefit both us of personally and professionally – all because I mentioned her book in one of my blog posts. That’s the power of giving with no expectation of return.
The common sense point here is clear. Successful people are interpersonally competent. Interpersonally competent people build strong relationships by giving with no expectation of return. The next time you meet someone new ask yourself, “What can I do to help this person?” Most people ask the opposite question, “How can this person help me?” By thinking “how can I help” first you’ll be better able to build strong relationships that will pay off in your life and career. Way back on January 20, 1961 in his inauguration speech John Kennedy said “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” These words – with a slight twist -- are true today and will help you become known as an interpersonally competent person. Ask not what others can do for you. Ask what you can do for others.
That’s my take on building relationships by asking what you can do for others, not what they can do for you. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always thanks for reading.
Dynamic communications skills are one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. If you want to become a dynamic communicator, you need to develop three basic, but critically important skills: 1) Conversation; 2) Writing; and 3) Presenting.
Sadly, today’s economy created a situation in which a lot of people are writing resumes. The other day, I came across some tips for resume writing from Jeremy Hill and Matt Colarusso of Sapphire Technologies, a Randstad company.
Take a look…
• Showing an unbalanced mix of specialized skills versus knowledge of other skills - too many people put a disproportionate amount of emphasis on a specialization versus listing a complete range of abilities. This can too narrowly define you and thus limit your opportunities.
• One size fits all mentality - Some job seekers tend to submit the same resume for all the jobs they apply to which is a big no-no. While a job seeker should never stretch or falsely list his skills or abilities, he should create a custom resume for each job he is applying. The resume should highlight those skills that apply most to that particular job opportunity. What you think are the most important aspects of your experience may not be what the manager is looking for; don't miss the opportunity to present your "best fit" resume! Look for ways to explain your skills in similar examples to what the job description states the manager is looking for.
• Listing outdated technical skills - Job Seekers who work in the IT or other industries that are fast paced and constantly changing, should refrain from listing technologies or capabilities on tools that are no longer used or dated. Listing them only makes you as a candidate look less relevant.
• Not including enough detail - Updating a resume should be an ongoing thing. A resume is your calling card and thus should be updated whenever a new skill is learned or a new milestone is reached. A short and concise detailed description of your achievements will help sell you as the best possible candidate for the job. Don't assume that a "skill listing" explains your experience with different skills/technologies - make sure you illustrate how you applied these skills in each applicable job. And don't assume that the hiring manager will be able to tell where, how, or when you used these skills. Be specific!
• Don't forget to use your resume as a self-branding tool - A resume is more than just a document, it is a reflection of you as a candidate and therefore should be viewed as a self-branding tool. Make your resume stand out and when you get that interview, be sure to sell yourself at every opportunity.
• Not knowing your own capabilities - If you are not a project manager, do not list project manager skills. Make sure your resume is reflective of your capabilities because I promise you, they will be called into question.
• "Little white lies" - In today's day and age, employment verifications and skills testing/quizzing are becoming more and more prevalent. Even a month's difference in what your resume says and what an employment verification shows can paint a bad picture to a potential employer. Make sure that your resume is accurate! They can quiz you on whatever skills you put on your resume, so don't embellish.
• Basic formatting and legibility - Don't necessarily think that "less is more." Paying attention to a quick evaluation of "Is this easy to read?" is very important. Make sure that spacing and font types/sizes are even and clean, and use bullet points instead of lengthy prose. Make sure that the styling is consistent (bold headings and underlined job titles, for example...but don't get them mixed up) and that the timeline flows chronologically (months and years, not just years). Margins and Header/Footer space should be consistent and accentuate the flow of the resume (flexibility from a 1/2 inch to 1 inch on each side, not much more or less), and it can help to pay attention to whether a line or paragraph flows well to the edge or bottom of a page.
I like what Jeremy and Matt have to say. I especially like their second point – “avoid a one size fits all mentality.” They urge you to create a custom resume for each job for which you are applying. I agree 100%. It’s easy to do this in today’s cut and paste world.
I tell my coaching clients that they should develop a Word document that is a repository of their skills and experiences. This repository should be a series of paragraphs that can be edited and cut and paste into a resume that best shows how their specific skills and experience make them the best candidate for the specific position for which they are applying.
Many people are too lazy to do this. Successful job seekers report that the little bit of time they spend crafting custom resumes results in a number of interviews – which result in more than one offer.
The common sense point here is simple. Successful people are dynamic communicators – in conversation, writing and presentations. Resume writing is a communication skill that has become increasingly important in today’s tough economic times. Jeremy Hill and Matt Colarusso’ common sense ideas for writing a strong resume are a great starting point. Here is a summary of their ideas.
• Present the full range of your skills.
• Create a unique resume specifically tailored to the job for which you are applying.
• List only skills that are current and up to date.
• Keep your resume updated.
• Use your resume to reinforce your personal brand.
• Be truthful.
• Make your resume easy to read.
That’s my take on resume writing for success. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading. And thanks to Jeremy and Matt for their common sense tips on resume writing.
Outstanding performance is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. If you want to become an outstanding performer you need to do three things. 1) Stay on top of your game by becoming a lifelong learner. 2) Set high goals. Do whatever it takes to achieve them. 3) Get organized. Manage your time, life and stress well.
Billy Donovan is the Head Basketball Coach at the University of Florida. He has been the coach there for 11 years. In those 11 years, he has compiled a record of 226 wins and 98 losses. His teams won the NCAA championship in 2006 and 2007.
Billy Donovan is one of the premier college basketball coaches. However, it wasn’t always so. He had a losing record in his first two seasons at Florida. “I remember my first couple of years here… trying to build something. It was really hard. We had two straight losing seasons. Losing is never fun,” he said. During the tough times, Billy Donovan took motivation where he could get it:
“You know those Successories, little motivational things, inspiration, drive, all those things? There were like six or eight framed Successories things in my office just for support.”
Successories is a company that sells motivational products – framed posters, cards, awards, plaques, books. You name it, they have it. If you fly, I’m sure you’ve seen their ads in the Sky Mall catalog.
However, this isn’t about Successories. It’s not even about Billy Donovan. It’s about a very simple but often overlooked common sense point about career and life success: surround yourself with positive things and people and learn from them.
I know that framed motivational posters may seem a little corny. However, they worked for Billy Donovan. They’ve worked for me. I’ve mentioned the framed quote from Paul Meyer in my office that says, “Whatever you can vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act on… must inevitably come to pass.”
I’ve had this quote hanging in my office since 1988, the year I struck out on my own as an independent consultant, coach, and speaker. It has served me well as I built my business and wrote my books. It is my guiding light as I am learning how to use the internet to disseminate my thoughts more widely.
Positive people are even more important than positive things. Billy Donovan says that University of Florida Athletic Director Jeremy Foley gave him the support he needed during his first two losing seasons that helped him get where he is today. Cathy, my wife, is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. I also have a network of people who support me – some by providing the services I need to run my business, some through their friendship. I wouldn’t have had the success I’ve had over the past 20 years if it weren’t for these people. I’ve learned from all of them.
Here are some ideas that have helped me continue to learn and grow:
Be open – to new people, ideas, and perspectives. What you know to be true today may not be true tomorrow. If you’re not paying attention, your truths can drag you down. Keep asking yourself, “Why do I believe this to be true?” You might be surprised and find that your reasons are no longer valid. Find friends who will challenge your thinking, not just go along with what you say.
Recognize your personal biases. We all have filters. The more you can recognize yours, the easier it will be for you to determine when they are getting in the way of learning something new. You can’t eliminate your biases, but you can compensate for them.
Be humble. You can learn from anyone. There is a lot of wisdom in this world that you will find in some unusual places. The key is to admit to yourself that you don’t have all the answers. The more you understand how much you don’t know, the easier it will be for you to take advantage of the knowledge and wisdom that enters your life every day.
The common sense point in all of this is simple. Successful people are outstanding performers. Outstanding performers stay on top of their game because they are lifelong learners. If you want to be successful, surround yourself with positive people and learn from them. Find a mentor. Listen to what he or she has to say. More important, do what he or she suggests. We all learn best by doing. So do what your mentor suggests and you’ll become an outstanding performer.
That’s my take on positive people and lifelong learning. What’s yours? Please take a minute and leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading.
In an effort at revitalizing this group, I am going to post my daily blogs here. You can see my previous blog posts at www.SuccessCommonSense.com
Positive personal impact is a key to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. If you want to create positive personal impact, you need to do three things. Create and nurture your unique personal brand. Be impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line. Know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.
The other day, I came across a great article on HRGuru.com called “What Professionals Should Never (Ever) Wear. Here are the items that the authors suggested you should not wear to work. Some are funny. Some are downright stupid. They all are just not good common sense…
Crocs
Uggs
Fanny Packs
Scrunchies
Sweatshirts and Sweatpants
Footless Leggins and Spandex/Yoga Pants
Leather Pants
Face Tatoos
Velour/Juicy Tracksuits
Message T Shirts
Too Much Exposed Skin
Heavy – or no – Makeup
What You Wore Yesterday
Sequins
Flip Flop Sandals
Excessive Jewelry
Sports Teams Jerseys
Hats and Caps
Long Fingernails
Messy, Wrinkled or Torn Clothing
Wallet Chain
Glitter
Sunglasses Indoors
All Over Animal Print
Short Shorts
You’d think that people would have the common sense to avoid wearing these items at work. However, I can recall seeing each of these fashion faux pas – with the exception of Mike Tyson face tattoos – in places where I have worked. One of my professors at the Harvard Business School used to wear a wallet chain. He looked like a biker in a suit.
The common sense point here is simple. Successful people create positive personal impact. You can create positive personal impact by being impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line. Professionals should dress in a professional manner. Take a few minutes to look in the mirror as you leave home every day. Ask yourself, “does what I’m wearing show that I respect myself and the people I’ll meet today?” If yes, get going and have a great day. If no, take a few minutes to change. You’ll be better off.
That’s my take on appropriate professional attire. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading.
Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success. If you want to become interpersonally competent, you need to do three things. First, get to know yourself. Use this self knowledge to help you better understand and communicate with the other people in your life. Second, build solid, long lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the people in your life. Third, resolve conflict positively and creatively. Use conflict as an opportunity to strengthen your relationships.
If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I like Chinese food, and that I eat Chinese take out a lot when I am traveling. Sometimes, I find little nuggets in fortune cookies that I post here. The other day, I came across a great one…
“When you feel defensive, examine what you fear.”
Quite a few of my posts on self confidence deal with fear. I believe that self confident people identify what they fear, and then take action to deal with that fear. This in turn, helps them become more self confident. In my talks and coaching sessions, I suggest that when you find yourself procrastinating, figure out what scares you.
The fortune cookie quote above got me thinking about fear in a different light. Defensive behavior can destroy relationships. And when you think about it, defensive behavior is often brought on by fear – usually fear of rejection. When you’re feeling defensive, you tend to do one of two things: 1) lash out at others, or 2) go into great detail explaining and rationalizing your actions and/or behavior.
Both of these responses are ways of coping with rejection. “You can’t reject me, I won’t stand for it. In fact, I reject you. I’m angry.” Or, you might take ten minutes explaining why you did something or acted in a particular way in hopes to getting the other person to accept, rather than reject your logic, action or behavior. Either way, defensive behavior is not one of the hallmarks of interpersonally competent people. It gets in the way of building open, trusting relationships. Defensive behavior also tends to escalate, rather than resolve, conflict.
The common sense point here is clear. Successful people are interpersonally competent. Interpersonally competent people build strong relationships and resolve conflict in a positive manner. Defensive behavior hinders the development of strong relationships and tends to make conflict worse. Often we get defensive when our fear buttons get pressed – especially our fear of rejection. So, the next time you find yourself feeling or acting defensively, ask yourself “what am I afraid of here?” The answer will help you respond in an interpersonally competent manner and to build and maintain strong relationships.
That’s my take on fear, defensiveness, relationships and success. What’s yours? Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts on these ideas by leaving a comment. As always, I thank you very much for reading.
Dynamic communication skills are one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success. If you want to become a dynamic communicator, you need to master three basic, but critical skills: 1) conversation; 2) writing; and 3) presenting.
Job interviews are some of the most important conversations you will ever have. However, many people go into them woefully underprepared. I was speaking with Bob Matts, a friend and a senior HR executive with a very large and prestigious company the other day. Bob was telling me about the STAR method of interviewing that his company employs. STAR is an acronym that means “Situation/Task -- Activity – Result.” The STAR model was developed by the consulting firm DDI and taught in a program called Targeted Selection. When Bob and his colleagues conduct interviews they always ask candidates to:
1. Describe a situation or task with which they were faced. (ST)
2. Describe what they did in that situation. (A)
3. Describe the result. (R)
Bob said that he is constantly surprised by the number of people who have difficulty answering such a straightforward sequence of questions. He and I both agreed that people typically don’t think in this manner. Bob and I both help people prepare for job interviews. I do it as part of my coaching work. Bob does it because he is a nice guy who enjoys helping people.
When we do this type of work, we explain the STAR model and coach people on how to use it to their advantage in an interview. The great thing about preparing for an interview by using the STAR model is that you will score points with the interviewer – whether or not his or her company uses it. In some ways, you have more of an advantage providing STAR answers to questions if the interviewer is not versed in the technique.
Let’s take a look at how you can use the STAR model to answer interview questions and come across as a great conversationalist while doing so.
I was journalism major as an undergraduate student. When I was a young guy, interviewing for my first job, I was often asked, “Why did you major in journalism?” I would say something like, “I was the editor of my high school newspaper and yearbook. I like to write, so I thought I would major in journalism.”
Not a bad answer, but not a great one either. If I were answering this question using the STAR technique, I would have said something like, “I was the first person in my family to go to college. I really didn’t know much about the world of work (Situation).
“When it came time to choose a major (Task), I really wasn’t sure about what to do.
“I knew I was a good writer and I liked politics and current events, so I thought I might try journalism. I talked to a couple of juniors and seniors who were journalism majors. I asked them why they chose journalism and what they hoped to do after graduation. Many of them were not planning on working for a newspaper or magazine. They were planning on going to law school or business school. They told me that journalism school helped them become better writers and stay abreast of what was happening in the world. They also told me that it helped them develop a sense of personal discipline. I remember one guy saying, ‘There are no lates or incompletes in journalism. It’s in on time and complete, or it’s an F.’ I didn’t know a lot about professional careers, but I figured that being a good writer was probably going to be important in any job I took, and I knew that I good be better organized and disciplined so journalism was a good choice for me” (Activity).
“I’m really glad I decided to major in journalism. My writing skills improved greatly. I learned how to write very clearly. And, as one of the upper classmen told me, I developed a great sense of personal discipline. All of my journalism assignments were in on time. And, I never took a late or incomplete the entire time I was in college. I think that this sense of personal discipline is one of my strongest suits. If you hire me, you can be sure that I’ll get my work done on time every time” (Result).
If the interviewer was using the STAR model, I would have scored big points for answering the question well. If the interviewer were not using the STAR model, I would have scored even bigger points for my ability to demonstrate clear thinking and reasoning as well as my ability to show a direct line from something I did (choosing journalism as a major) to a result that most employers will value (my ability to get work done complete and on time).
The common sense point here is simple. Successful people are dynamic communicators. Dynamic communicators are good conversationalists. Job interviews are very important conversations when it comes to personal and professional success. The STAR (Situation/Task, Activity, Result) model of answering questions is a great tool for preparing answers to questions you are likely to encounter in a job interview. If you master the techniques associated with the STAR model, you will come across as a highly skilled and polished conversationalist in interviews – and get an offer for the job you really want.
That’s my take on how to use the techniques associated with the STAR model of interviewing to help you land the job you want. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading.
Bud
PS – I know that times are tough and many people are looking for work. If you have an upcoming interview and want some coaching applying the STAR model, send an email to Bud@BudBilanich.com with the words “Interview Coaching” in the subject line. Give me a few dates and times that work for you, and I’ll give you a free coaching session that will help you apply the STAR model when you are in the interview. How’s that for an offer?
Outstanding performance is one of the keys to success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success. If you want to become an outstanding performer, you need to do three things. 1) Stay on top of your game by becoming a lifelong learner. 2) Set high goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them. 3) Get organized. Manage your time, life and stress well.
The other day, I came across a treasure trove of quotes on learning – most of which apply to lifelong learning. I don’t usually do quote posts, but I thought I’d try something different today. Please let me know if you would like me to do quote posts on the other success topics I discuss on this blog.
Quotes on the Importance of Lifelong Learning
You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives. ~Clay P. Bedford
Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life. ~Henry L. Doherty
I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. ~Eartha Kitt
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. ~Attributed to Harry S. Truman
A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study. ~Chinese Proverb
It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it. ~Jacob Bronowski
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. ~Mark Twain
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
You learn something every day if you pay attention. ~Ray LeBlond
The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. ~Antisthenes
Some people will never learn anything, for this reason, because they understand everything too soon. ~Alexander Pope
Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every conceived notion, follow humbly wherever and whatever abysses nature leads, or you will learn nothing. ~Thomas Huxley
Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves. ~Abbé Dimnet, Art of Thinking, 1928
I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday. ~Abraham Lincoln
The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyr. ~Mohammed
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ~Chinese Proverb
All the world is a laboratory to the inquiring mind. ~Martin H. Fischer
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. ~Winston Churchill
The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live. ~Mortimer Adler
There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. ~Willa Cather
There are many things which we can afford to forget which it is yet well to learn. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I am defeated, and know it, if I meet any human being from whom I find myself unable to learn anything. ~George Herbert Palmer
Always walk through life as if you have something new to learn and you will. ~Vernon Howard
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. ~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
I find four great classes of students: The dumb who stay dumb. The dumb who become wise. The wise who go dumb. The wise who remain wise. ~Martin H. Fischer
No matter how one may think himself accomplished, when he sets out to learn a new language, science, or the bicycle, he has entered a new realm as truly as if he were a child newly born into the world. ~Frances Willard, How I Learned to Ride the Bicycle
Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford
It is not hard to learn more. What is hard is to unlearn when you discover yourself wrong. ~Martin H. Fischer
If the past cannot teach the present and the father cannot teach the son, then history need not have bothered to go on, and the world has wasted a great deal of time. ~Russell Hoban
You have learned something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something. ~H.G. Wells
I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me. ~Dudley Field Malone
Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily. ~Thomas Szasz
I am what the librarians have made me with a little assistance from a professor of Greek and a few poets. ~Bernard Keble Sandwell
Learn as much as you can while you are young, since life becomes too busy later. ~Dana Stewart Scott
His studies were pursued but never effectually overtaken. ~H.G. Wells
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. ~Alvin Toffler
Learning without thought is labor lost. ~Confucius
The pupil can only educate himself. Teachers are the custodians of apparatus upon which he himself must turn and twist to acquire the excellencies that distinguish the better from the poorer of God's vessels. ~Martin H. Fischer
The best of my education has come from the public library... my tuition fee is a bus fare and once in a while, five cents a day for an overdue book. You don't need to know very much to start with, if you know the way to the public library. ~Lesley Conger
The man who is too old to learn was probably always too old to learn. ~Henry S. Haskins
We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself. ~Lloyd Alexander
You don't understand anything until you learn it more than one way. ~Marvin Minsky
The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as that every child should be given the wish to learn. ~John Lubbock
Learning is like rowing upstream: not to advance is to drop back. ~Chinese Proverb
People learn something every day, and a lot of times it's that what they learned the day before was wrong. ~Bill Vaughan
The common sense point here is simple. Successful people are outstanding performers. Outstanding performers stay on top of their game. They are lifelong learners, committed to learning everything they can about their profession, their business, their company, their company’s competitors and life in general. As the Chinese proverb says, if you quit learning, you are not standing still, you are losing ground.
I hope you have enjoyed these quotes on the importance of lifelong learning. Please leave a comment sharing which ones resonated with you and why. Also, please let me know if you enjoy this type of post. If you do, I’ll add it to my repertoire. As always, thanks for reading.
Self confidence is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success. Self confident people have three things in common. 1) Self confident people are optimistic. 2) Self confident people face their fears and act. 3) Self confident people surround themselves with positive people.
Last week I did a post on tolerance that had some quotes from Sherman Alexie’s book The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. I found some other great stuff in there about surrounding yourself with positive people. Check it out…
“Something magical happened to me when I went to Reardon. Overnight I became a good player.
“I suppose it had something to do with confidence. In Reardon my coach and the other players wanted me to be good. They needed me to be good. They expected me to be good. And so, I became good.
“I wanted to live up to expectations. I guess that’s what it comes down to. The power of expectations. And as they expected more of me, I expected more of myself, and it just grew and grew until I was scoring twelve points a game – as a freshman…
“‘Coach,’ I said, ‘I don’t think I can do it.’ He walked over to me, kneeled, and pushed his forehead against mine. Our eyes were like an inch apart. I could smell cigarettes and chocolate on his breath.
“‘You can do it,’ Coach said. ‘You can do it,” Coach said again. He didn’t shout it. He whispered it, like a prayer. And he kept whispering again. Until the prayer turned into a song. And then, for some magical reason, I believed him…
“‘I can do it,’ I said to Coach, to my teammates, to the world.
“‘You can do it,’ Coach said, ‘I can do it.’ ‘You can do it.’ ‘I can do it.’
“Do you know how amazing it is to hear that from anybody? It’s one of the simplest sentences in the world, just four words, but they’re the four hugest words in the world when they’re put together.
“‘You can do it.’
“‘I can do it.’
“‘Let’s do it…”
We all need people like Coach in our lives. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with positive people. When you find people who believe in you and tell you “you can do it” you begin to believe in yourself.
As Sherman Alexie says, “I wanted to live up to expectations. I guess that’s what it comes down to. The power of expectations. And as they expected more of me, I expected more of myself, and it just grew and grew…”
The common sense point here is simple. Successful people are self confident. Self confident people surround themselves with positive people. Positive people will expect a lot of you, and from you. These expectations will help you become a more confident person. Never underestimate the power of positive people. They will help your confidence and get you on the path to personal and professional success. Befriend all the positive people you can. Hold them close. Treasure them and their friendship. They will help you achieve your dreams.
That’s my take on positive people. What’s yours? Who are the positive people in your life? Please leave a comment giving them a shout out. Make it a great week. As always, thanks for reading.
Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success. If you want to become interpersonally competent, you need to do three things. First, get to know yourself. Use this self knowledge to better understand and communicate with others. Second, build solid, long lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in our life. Third, learn how to resolve conflict positively and in a manner that enhances, not detracts from your relationships.
I just finished reading The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. I read it for two reasons. First, I am a big fan of Mr. Alexie. Second, I saw that it was on a list of books that most often gets called into question by the book banning crowd – and I always make a point of reading books that anybody want to ban. I found The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian to be a touching coming of age story that deals with one of the major problems facing Native Americans -- alcoholism. I don’t see what anyone could question about this book. But I am a big believer in free speech.
But that’s not the reason for bring up The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian here. I found some great stuff about interpersonal competence on page 155. Junior, a teenager on the Wellpinit Reservation in Washington State and the book’s narrator, is talking about his grandmother…
“And, yeah, my grandmother was smart and kind and had traveled to about 100 different Indian reservations, but that had nothing to do with her greatness.
“My grandmother’s greatest gift was tolerance…
“She still hung on to that old-time Indian spirit, you know? She always approached each new person and each experience the exact same way…
“Whenever we went to Spokane, my grandmother would talk to anybody, even the homeless people, even the homeless guys who were talking to invisible people…
“My grandmother’s last act on earth was a call for forgiveness, love and tolerance. She wanted us to forgive Gerald, the dumb-ass Spokane Indian alcoholic who ran over and killed her.
“I think my dad wanted to go find Gerald and beat him to death. I think my mother would have helped him. I think I would have helped him, too.
“But my grandmother wanted us to forgive her murderer. Even dead, she was a better person than us.”
Junior’s grandmother was a good person – largely because of her forgiveness, love and tolerance.
Tolerance is key to becoming interpersonally competent. Unfortunately, most of us are not raised to be tolerant people. When I was a little guy, attending Saint Stanislaus elementary school in Ambridge PA, the nuns would tell us not to associate with kids who weren’t Catholic. Being the kid I was, I went out of my way to make friends with the Protestant and Jewish kids in my neighborhood. And guess what; their religious studies teachers told them to stay away from Catholics! Boy, was I surprised. Safe to say that tolerance wasn’t highly valued in my home town.
I think the world is becoming more tolerant, but I’m not sure. I hope so.
Whether or not the world is becoming more tolerant, tolerance is a hallmark of interpersonally competent people. On Tuesday, I did a post on responding with tolerance to rude behavior. In that post, I made the point that being tolerant will mark you as someone who creates positive personal impact. It also marks you as an interpersonally competent person.
The common sense point here is simple. Successful people are interpersonally competent. Interpersonally competent people are tolerant. They treat everyone they meet with respect and dignity. Tolerant people realize that human differences are opportunities for learning and growth and make the most of these opportunities. Intolerant people fear these differences – and therefore miss many fantastic opportunities to see the world from a different perspective. It’s up to you to choose – tolerance and learning, or intolerance and isolation.
That’s my take on tolerance and interpersonal competence. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading.
