When Sharon and I did our research for our first edition of Love 'Em or Lose 'Em: Getting Good People to Stay , we talked to folks who left organizations and wrote "more money" or "better opportunity" on their exit interviews. When we caught up with them later and we asked for more information, they said (in no uncertain terms), "My boss was a jerk, and I decided I didn't have to put up with it anymore."
We were fascinated by the word, and as good researchers we began to ask for some clarity and definition. We ended up with enough to write a whole chapter in our book, invent an assessment tool, and collect some great stories. Lately, those stories about mean bosses, bully bosses, are everywhere. There was a great article in American Way called "Monster Managers." It said 42% of US workers reported incidents of yelling and verbal abuse in their workplaces. And, it said that 30% of workers admitted to yelling at their co-workers themselves.
On our website, we asked over 2,000 people which of the jerk characteristics would most make them walk out the door. Here's the latest "top five" (six, really), and how they differ for men and women.
So here's our query: what should an organization do?
Some would say "coach" that jerk...give them strong feedback, tough love, behavioral counseling, etc. Others would say, "OUT - If you can't treat talent right you shouldn't be here". Others ignore it altogether and just hope it goes away. (We think most organizations can be included in the last category. They don't "coach" or "can" - they simply wait it out.)
What do you think? What are the ramifications of each choice? Have you ever been at the mercy of a jerk boss? What did it do to you?
Related Stories: | Topics:Careers, Human Resources, United States, Business, Jobs and Labor, Worklife |
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Recent Comments | 8 Total
August 13, 2004 at 2:37pm by Earl Gray
I don't think I've ever seen a person who was a jerk change. If they are making money for the company they will be there long after I've gone - unless they do something overt to get themselves fired, which they hardly ever do. They're not stupid, just nasty. Life is too short; if I can't get a transfer, I transfer myself out of there. Intentionally bad and harmful behavior disqualifies that person from access to my life. An organization that tolerates it is on its last legs, too. Its just plain toxic.
August 13, 2004 at 4:50pm by L. Black
I agree with Earl. I made the mistake of staying at a job with a jerk boss for much too long, and I wish I would have gotten out much sooner than I did. His management style encompasses the 6 qualities listed above. "Life is too short" to be miserable and dread going to work every day. It was definitely a learning and character-buiding experience. If you are in that situation, GET OUT NOW.
I would say that most of those people don't change. They manipulate people and situations to get what they want and get ahead. After all, he/she is the boss, and that is most likely how he/she got in that position.
August 13, 2004 at 5:27pm by Judy Conner
Once a bully always a bully. I agree with the two above, life is way too short. Jerky individuals, when put in a position of power, use it to separate a team, marginalzed those who aren't yes men, and then simply destroy morale. Either way, if you are in that situation, protect yourself and get out of there as soon as possible. I allowed myself to get pummeled for one year by a truly icky, mean boss who was hired over me, and it took at least that long to regain my equilibrium.
August 13, 2004 at 6:29pm by PJS
So, what's a jerk?
I see my boss trying to motivate the team from a negative perspective, like if we don't make it the team has to be changed. I would rather see a positive motivation, concentrate on what we can do together instead of a potential punishment. Next to that he is not really living up to his words and practicing fragmentation management; if you know to combine his words he tells to the teammembers seperately then you start to get the real picture. It is too very clear who he regards to be his friends and who are just the "carry on" items in the team.
All together for me after three years in the job it is time to move on, even though I have a great job. He is spoiling the pleasure in my job and it's not worth it.
After all, life is too short as L. Black said....
August 17, 2004 at 7:14pm by Jenny
The thing about jerk bosses is that their negative behavior doesn't affect productivity. It may not increase it significantly, but it certainly doesn't decrease it. At least, that's what I read in this NYT article(reg. req'd) about workplace bullies.
So, the people in the best position to address the negative behavior (the jerk's boss) often don't notice it because it doesn't affect the numbers they're looking at. Evidently, they're not looking at their HR dept's numbers to see who's had the most attrition in the last couple of years, and they're obviously not reading former employees' exit interviews.
But really, in my view, workplace bullying like this goes beyond the point of "coach or can." Neither one will change a bully's attitude because a bully is most often an emotionally disturbed individual. He doesn't need to be coached or canned -- he needs to be institutionalized. Especially where I work, they're textbook examples of psychotics.
December 14, 2007 at 5:07am by Ruffles
It occurs to me that many jerk bosses don't behave like jerks with everyone. I see that with mine. So there must be something that I can do to change (coach?) that jerk boss's behavior toward me. My challenge right now is to figure out how I can behave differently. Yes, I could (and eventually will)leave, and yes life is too short. But at this point, this boss is important to me as my guinea pig. I want to leave on my terms - that is, with the confidence that I can handle future situations. Any ideas about a strategic action plan?
January 22, 2008 at 9:41am by NGrube
I've been fighting my jerk of a boss since he took over as my manager in September. He's behavior has bordered right up to and likely crossed the line on discrimination. I've been "working" with HR since April. And the result? HR has protected the company but putting its head in the sand and inferring it is my issue. I've been placed on a "Performance Improvement Plan" or a.k.a we're in the process of documenting and manufactoring reasons that we are justified in firing you. I made the mistake of thinking that fairness and justice would prevail and that this bully would be closed down. HA! It's exactly as those above have said, if productivity isn't affected (and its generally not because people don't want to lose their jobs and the bully boss has no qualms with firing anyone who stands their ground)then the up-line management just simply doesn't care. HR doesn't care, they just want to hire the next person to chew up and spit out. Now, I'm proceeding down the path of setting the stage for a tidy settlement as I pursue the next opportunity. My advice, FIND A NEW JOB AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, and while you're waiting...stay below the radar, give him the up and down nod and placate...and LOOK FOR A NEW JOB. There are more bad bosses out there to find. :)