There are many different indicators in today’s world demonstrating that humanity has reached a new level of awareness and appreciation for its own existence. If we look at the shifts in the types of occupations being pursued (and sought after), the abundance of life coaches and personal development mentors is like a mirror held up to our collective psyche. It seems to say that life is a precious experience, and we simply want to be sure that we’re present for it in every way possible. To coin a somewhat overused phrase: We seek to live authentically.
In 1977, long before having a “life coach” was something commonly discussed at Starbucks, Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott published her first book on the subject and began a career that eventually, would find her labeled, “The Mother of Coaching.” New Species (published in 1978) was to become the first of many books Dr. Scott would write on personal development. The long list includes, “Negaholics,” a series of ‘Rules’ books – including “If Life is a Game, These are the Rules,” and her most recent work, “Transformational Life Coaching.”
Transformation Life Coaching throws open the doors to Life Coaching School and invites us all inside. Although written for those who either are, or espouse to become, mentors in the transformational movement, this book is an accessible “how to” for anyone. It welcomes all those who have spent time seeking to develop a better appreciation with their own life and how they intend to live it. Chapter 1 literally outlines what to look for and how to choose a coach, offering twenty-five important questions to discuss during the interview process.
In this book, Dr. Scott has created a virtual concordance of information, challenges for personal thought patterns and judgment, practical exercise and reference tools to use over and over. Embracing many global teachings, Dr. Scott often refers to the different chakras, or energy centers, as tools to release the ego and be of maximum service to others. As she explains, “You are in the process of opening up and taking control of your power,” and by deeply understanding each energy center, we will be able to literally, “open and close each chakra at will.”
Imagine being able to consciously open the fifth chakra (which controls speech and communication) in order to more fully participate in our marriage or work relationships – or being able to close down our first chakra, which embodies survival and security, so that we might be more risky and daring in our professional roles or fearlessly take on new adventures in life.
Dr. Scott has spent most of her professional life traveling the world and sharing her expertise on personal empowerment and development at every turn. On her website she shares that, “Writing a book is not done with the wave of a wand. It takes time to reflect and soul search for the universal truths related to each developmental phase.” These same words could definitely be applied to the very journeys that Dr. Scott encourages us to make with our lives.
What we know about coaching is that it is not only sought after, but it is necessary in today’s fast-paced world of endless challenges. From corporate teams to softball teams, being coached and coaching others on how to live as appreciatively and authenticity as possible is a proactive way to turn roadblocks into paving stones on your road of success.
To your own authentic and successful journey, Dr. Success (aka Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.) Expert on Positive Psychology and Executive Mentor
The people of the United States are about to elect a new President. Who that will be may feel to you like a new beginning, or perhaps the beginning of the end! Like all things in our lives, the story you tell about everything, from the impact of the new president, to the economy, to how you live your own, personal life – truly determines the life you will create.
As an expert in positive psychology, I know one thing for certain: my story, your story, and everyone’s story is written one word at a time, one sentence at a time, and thankfully it is always in a state of personal edit. How any story will unfold over time and end is truly within our individual control. We are not victims, we are powerful participants.
It was apparent in January that the “talk” about the economy -- and specifically real estate --was very, very negative. I accepted I could not change that conversation in a large way, but I became determined to find a way to use my expertise and to help teach everyone I could reach to re-craft the conversation.
So when I designed my most recent conference on positive psychology in Prescott, Arizona, I decided to talk about and attract speakers who had lived through great trauma or difficulties that made their lives powerful examples of how we choose the story that we live with each and every word we speak.
Today, no matter who you are, you are challenged to examine the story you tell yourself and others about your life. I challenge you to find and to truly listen to those inspirational people you know in your own life that have overcome great hardship and made incredible lives anyway. Ask yourself, “If they can thrive after what they have experienced, what action can I take to thrive in my situation?”
If you don’t have inspirational people around you, turn to your local library and discover them with ease. From lives we are well familiar with, like Helen Keller, to those we have yet to meet, the stories of those who author incredible and joyous lives, despite great obstacles, are everywhere. Consider the author of, “Pain, Power & Promise.” Nanette M. Oatley was a vibrant 22-year-old athlete and dancer, when an accident left her paralyzed. Her story goes far beyond what we would expect as she celebrates her journey back into professional athletic competition and her personal triumphs as a friend, wife, mother and business woman. She shares her never-give-up attitude toward achieving personal and professional goals and inspires us to reach beyond our own obstacles.
Books like these are abundant. Because those who have survived and thrived, no matter what, are eager to share their inspiration with others. We need to be eager to listen and learn.
Learning to recraft our language to embrace our power, instead of our perceived limitations and circumstances, is a must in our life journey. The words we speak are a roadmap to our actions, to our thoughts, to how we effect others, and to accessing and creating our own happiness.
Remember, real success begins when we begin to author and articulate our own definition of personal happiness.
To your success!
Dr. Success (aka Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.)
Expert in Positive Psychology and Executive Mentor
One of the first questions we’re asked as children is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” In the United States this question literally begins our life-long process of goal setting, especially in our careers. We are encouraged in our culture to set goals, goals and more goals. We are taught how to set them, what they should be, and that when we hit them, we are a success.
By the time we choose a college, many of us are on the hard and fast road of judging ourselves to be failures simply by missing the bull’s-eye. We lay out our life paths by eighteen and then judge ourselves forever by that innocent childhood question, “What do you want to be?”
But what happens to us when we realize we answered the question the way we thought we were expected to instead of what brought us joy at that moment? What happens when our goals are for things and titles instead of for life satisfaction and happiness? Perhaps the path should be its own success. The lessons we learn at thirty, forty and even fifty should reorient our decisions. Those lessons should change our course.
This comes at a high price, however, in a society that says the goal IS the reward.Often, we don’t even enjoy the journey because we’re busy looking for the brass ring.
·I’ll be happy once I finish grad school. ·I’ll be happy after I’m married. ·Having children will make me happy. ·Once I get out of this job, then I’ll be happy.
What if we decided that happiness was really the goal? No matter what our culture tells us, we can be empowered to set goals for now, instead of forever.
While it might seem unconventional, or even risky, the power to choose deeply personal objectives while walking our life path is a ticket to freedom. Setting goals like inner peace, free time, day-to-day joy – these are personally determined, and thus, attainable and even adjustable.
No matter what age you are or what your circumstances, stop right now and ask yourself: What do I want? (Remember, money is a cheater’s answer – what would you want from the money?) Quite simply, what would make you happy? Don’t edit yourself – there’s no right or wrong.
Your answers might surprise you. If you loved going to college, but hated the career you ended up in, the answer might not be a new job – but to go back to college! You got the six-figure, C-level career, but deeply wish for more time with your family. Guess what? You get to pick again. You realize a week before the wedding that you fell in love with the wrong person. Trust that. Be courageous. This is your life. It is not the dress rehearsal. You are not the star in someone else’s dream -- not your parent, not your spouse, nobody.
The goals we set are powerful, but should be guideposts. They are organizing principles and benchmarks to focus our energy. They should not be strangleholds, held so tightly that we kill ourselves going after the wrong thing. The process of being human means asking and re-asking the important questions.It means redirecting. It means changing our minds. These shifts in course are the right use of willpower.
Sometimes the most empowering act in our lives is simply being able to embrace that a goal we set previously – and even attained – is no longer the right goal to continue our life’s path of happiness.
To your success!
Dr. Success, Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D. Expert in Positive Psychology and Executive Mentor www.ServingSuccess.com
Probably the biggest roadblock to our personal development is simply habit.Human beings are creatures of habit.Our brains are literally designed to seek routine – even if that routine is detrimental to us.A habit is anything we do so often that it becomes almost an involuntary process. To our brain, there are no “good” or “bad” habits.It is just the familiar.We can even become addicted to our own brain chemistry and it’s response to certain stimuli.This is what we commonly call addiction.The serotonin and dopamine that our brain produces spell PEACE to our bodies.We will so often choose the familiar, simply because it is what “feels” peaceful.It is what we know.From the outside, we stand in astonishment when we look at the choices other people make.Why does someone smoke, or drink, or eat to excess?Why do they stay in abusive or loveless relationships?When we are not pointing fingers, however, we must ask those same questions about ourselves.Why must we wait until circumstances are unbearable to begin to build a new path?The good news is, we don’t!This is the beginning of personal development.We must be willing to admit the truth about ourselves and any given situation and seek a new and higher reaction.We must build a new process around a familiar experience.A simple example is day-to-day negativity.How often do we complain in a day?We spend so much verbal energy vocalizing our physical aches and pains.We endlessly highlight our frustrations with our workplace and our disappointments in others.In fact, we spend so much of our voice on the negative, that we will distract ourselves from the positive. Negativity is like any familiar unproductive habit – with awareness, desire and action we can learn a new response to an old and familiar pattern.One of the basic tenets of Positive Psychology is gratitude.Learning to simply close our mouths to negativity and to speak only words of appreciation is an easy tool in personal development.It is also, however, a paradoxical tool.It is very difficult to learn yet when practiced it is the MOST rewarding skill when acquired.It is the key to all other development, and it magically unlocks doorways to who we may choose to become.As human beings, we are born with tremendous assets. These assets are our strengths. What we choose to build with those traits is our birthright.It is our life journey.This IS, literally, our “personal” development.Personal development is when we begin to understand we are not our unproductive habits, our net worth or our circumstances but our strengths.Now that is good news. That is a thought worthy of contemplation.To your success!Dr. Success, Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.www.ServingSuccess.com
Do you ever hit those snags in life where you feel like you’ve stopped growing?Does life become so routine, so much hard work, that all you believe you can do is tread water?When it seems as though there is little room left to dream at the end of a long day of working, raising your family, paying bills, etc. Ironically, even the good things in life can stop us from growing – fame, fortune, recognition. Literally anything can stop us from seeking a bigger experience with life, if we let it.
Dan Sullivan and Catherine Nomura, the authors of, The Laws of Lifetime Growth have built this book on their own “sticky” life situations. Businessman Dan Sullivan survived not one, but two, bankruptcies. With the indefatigable spirit of an entrepreneur, Dan used his experience to create a million-dollar coaching firm. Catherine Nomura then helped Dan to recreate himself again and translated Dan’s life and his inspiring philosophy to the written page. This book is our doorway into that philosophy and our invitation to create our the most rewarding life possible.
The Laws of Lifetime Growth is a living example of Law #2, “Always make your learning greater than your experience.”We all face many unexpected turns, good and bad. But as the authors point out, “You can have a great deal of experience and be no smarter for all of the things you’ve done, seen, and heard.Experience alone is no guarantee of lifetime growth. But if you regularly transform your experiences into new lessons, you will make each day of your life a source of growth.”
No matter what our circumstance, health, financial situation, etc., we can choose to make each day pivotal in our development. In this way our worst moments can often become our most valuable trajectories to our best life – and biggest successes.
The Laws build on one another in this book. As the benchmark, Law #1 is both the roots and wings for the other nine. Always make your future bigger than your past.By putting that idea into action and knowing that life always has more in store for us, we are naturally moved into hope and gratitude. For positive psychology it is no “secret” that gratitude is the doorway to all universal gifts.
Like most books from Berrett-Koehler, The Laws of Lifetime Growthis a quick study.It reminds us in every-day language, that in our abundant world we must be proactively grateful. We must practice gratitude and learning.
This is not simply another reminder to pay it forward. It holds amazing surprises for the reader. Law #6 says: “Always make your enjoyment greater than your effort.” Simply put, life should be FUN! It’s vital to remember that joy is a service to others. A person grounded in JOY is like a beacon to all and a magnet for learning.
“Finding ways to get more and more enjoyment from your activities is one way to ensure continued growth. Creativity in all fields of activity is intimately linked to playfulness – the constant desire to do new things just for the fun of it. Approach everything you do with this sense of play, and you will ensure that, even though you still get as good or better results, your enjoyment is always greater than your effort.”
Although we often wish we had an unlimited supply of years, embracing our limited life is, in reality, infinitely powerful. It reminds us of the intrinsic value in every moment and every experience.
We can choose to live our lives in motion: moving forward, thinking positive, helping others and maintaining gratitude. By combining those principals with our own definition of personal happiness, we can enjoy our successful efforts, no matter what results may come down the path.
To your success!Dr. Success, Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.
John Izzo begins his book: The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Diewith a question we should form our entire life around:“Why do some people find wisdom and die happy?” This query is one that should sit quietly in the back of our minds from birth until death. When we sit with a question like this, we open ourselves to the endless possibilities of the answer.
John Izzo seeks to provide his audience with a roadmap to discovering our own answer to this. Through his book, he invites us to create lives of wisdom and happiness, no matter what our circumstance. Before beginning the five-step lesson, Izzo outlines the greatest challenge of all. He reminds us that time is passing.In our powelessness over that, we have huge opportunities.We can manage our priorities and our choices. We are the stars of this one-person, one-lifetime show.
This book was, in some ways, a collaboration. Four thousand people were nominated by friends or loved ones as being true pillars of wisdom and joy. The author then chose 235 of those candidates between 60 and 105 years old – the most knowledgeable section of our society. These subjects have experienced the most.They can separate the hard knocks from the great lessons. Through those subjects and their wisdom, Izzo came up with five tenets for a life worth living:
Be true to yourself.
Leave no regrets
Become love.
Live in the moment.
Give more than you take.
Although each of these is vital and approached with great depth and focus in the book, one or two demand a moment’s inspection and are worth implementing this very moment.
Living in the moment. If one of the five tenets to living a happy life is to live in the moment, we are literally behind the eightball before we even begin. We are taken out of the “moment” a thousand times each day through our own technology. (Can you say email?) The author recounts taking his dog for a walk one day.The dog wasenjoying that walk so much more than Mr. Izzo himself. The dog paused to enthusiastically enjoy smells or the company of other dogs (friends). The author was simply busy timing himself to accomplish his daily speed walk.
Become Love.Izzo asks us to recognize that love is not an idea, it is an action.It means choosing to spend time with friends.(Even dogs do that!)It means embodying thoughtfulness and a loving tone.We must not miss an opportunity or spend a day in human disappointment – there simply are no do-overs.You will pass through today only once, and love will sustain you.
Leave no regrets.The author’s grandfather offered him the idea, early in his life, to judge his days by how satisfying they are. Each day will pass, it is simply the law of time and space, but how we live and how fulfilled we are, will become the foundation of great choices.Quite simply, we get this one chance to create a life that leaves no regrets. Do what thrills us.
Like all great books on positive psychology, gratitude is the prevailing thought throughout this book.To be able to rebound every day (if necessary) and choose to live a joyous and meaningful life. To create time to be still and find the timeless beauty hidden behind to do lists and ever-full inboxes.To author our own sonata, our own academy-award winning existence. That is the good life, and John Izzo wants us to know it. The rewards of each of these five principles are limitless, and amazingly, they are free.It’s the free lottery ticket – your one true life.
To your success, Dr. Success (aka, Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.)
As a society, we are trained from our earliest years to approach our lives like mountain climbers. From the time we enter school we are supposedly being taught what to pack for life’s journey. By our teens, we have often laid out a detailed map and a kit of tools to our life and we are keenly aware of where our life journey is meant to go and where the summit is. Soon after starting that journey, however, we discover that life has its own paths, surprises and unexpected summits and challenges waiting for us.
The author of Shifting Sands, Steve Donahue, builds on an experience from his youth, where he and a friend seized the moment and unexpectedly drove across the Sahara Desert.Steve uses this as a life metaphor for the long journey of crossing an ever-changing desert when we “expect” to be climbing a well-planned mountain.In this book, the author shares that one evening the group had carefully planned their next step in the journey – it was completely laid out, right down to where the hills and sands and markings were.When they awoke the next morning, there had been a sandstorm and everything was different.
This becomes one of the author’s core revelations: Use a compass instead of a map.Rather than following someone else’s instructions and roadmap to the summit, Donahue encourages his readers to use our own inner compass and intuitive guideposts to plot our path day by day.Life is ever changing, and no amount of maps and markers can really plot our course – and if we think about it, would we even really want that?
One of Donahue’s most poignant chapters is, “When You’re Stuck, Deflate.”When we get stuck in life, we often tend to dig in our heels (or wheels) and just try harder – the old adage, “If at first you don’t succeed,” ringing in our ears.But in life, like in the desert, sometimes that only bogs us deeper down into the sand.Being hell-bent to follow the map and do something the way we plan, can literally stop us in our tracks.According to Shifting Sands, sometimes we must simply stop, let go, and shift with the changing scene around us.The question thus becomes: How do I let go of my ideas and my ego and move forward?
As an executive mentor, my role is to uncover why we allow ourselves to get stuck and what we do to shift and rethink our direction and our summits.We know through positive psychology that as human beings we are sometimes stopped by our own experiences and comfort level over and over.Our ego will use this as a benchmark to allow us to feel “accomplished.”We are thus compelled to repeat only what we know.By using an inner compass, you can use your own “True North” to overtake that mental goalpost and begin to create a different journey and conquer summits higher than we might have ever dreamed to set.
As human beings, we like to assume we “know” how things will turn out and what steps we need to take to get there. We are gratefully reminded in Shifting Sands: A Guidebook for Crossing the Deserts of Change, that each life is an uncharted adventure to be joyously relished. To your success!
Dr. Success, Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D. www.ServingSuccess.com
The Success Principles:How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, by Jack Canfield with Janet Switzer isn’t necessarily a quick read, but it does put everything you need under one umbrella.
It’s a large book, but don’t let the size turn you off.The book is written in a way that allows you to pick a subject area, and then choose a lesson to turn into action.It is conveniently divided into six main themes, including: The Fundamentals of Success, Ways to Build a Success Team, and reminders that Success Starts Now.Definitely invest the time to read the seven-page introduction.I may disagree with the authors’ suggestion that you read the book from cover to cover, but I enthusiastically support their warning not to become discouraged with how long it may take to see results.The special integrity of this book is that it does not sugarcoat what it takes to achieve success:it takes time – and a lot of it.Yet if you invest the time, this book delivers on its promise:If you apply the principles laid out on its pages, you will achieve your goals.
What to Do
Here’s one technique to effectively use this book.Think of the six sections as potential growth areas.Whenever you have time, randomly choose a section and a reading from that section.“Randomly” means to let your fingers do the walking!Look through the table of contents and stop on a given page.Go there and, with your eyes closed, point to a spot.Open your eyes to see which growth area you’ll be working on. (Many people use this technique when looking for guidance from spiritual books such as the Bible.This can also be used with most self-help books.) Commit to working on only that chosen area for the next seven days.Read the chapter and do the suggested action for that week – then assess your results.Is it working, does it feel right, have you moved closer to where you want to be?This process of personal development may be similar to the way you learned to run a business or solve a challenge:observe, act, analyze, and adjust for greater results.
Another approach is to read the first chapter in every section and work with each one it until you have integrated the actions into your personal success repertoire.Using that technique you will be summoned to take 100% responsibility, drop out of the “Ain’t It Awful” Club and surround yourself with successful people, stay focused on your core genius, be mentally and physically present, develop a positive money consciousness, and most important, start now and just do it!
My Specific Experience with this Book and Results
For me, being reminded to take 100% responsibility also helped me remember that everything in life is the result of choices I make.I would like to share with you what was going on in my business life at the time I was reviewing this book.As I recount my story, try to think of a time you had a similar situation in your personal or work life.Recognizing how you contribute to any situation is the first action step you can take to positively influence a different outcome.
In addition to being an expert in self-help, with my husband, I own and operate two hotels and employ many people.At the time I was reading The Success Principles I felt I was being saddled with less-than-high-performing employees.They seemed to complain a lot, always had an excuse for why some goal was not met, and were quick to blame the one person who was not in the room for all of our challenges.When I was reminded through the first chapter that I needed to take 100% responsibility for my life, I was quickly able to see that I was replicating and creating, in my own life, the behaviors I was experiencing in my company.
That priceless awareness allowed me to see very clearly how the next section’s opening chapter on dropping out of the “Ain’t It Awful” Club and surrounding myself with successful people, might just be my ticket out of my current predicament and on to the next level of success.I monitored my own language about how and why the situation was the way it was, and like magic, the people around me began to do the same.
That different result was reinforced as soon as I began to build a team instead of trying to do everything myself.Staying focused on my core genius and allowing others to contribute to the overall success of the situation was a relief for me and for those who worked for me.Building the team required me to stay present in every conversation with every employee so that each knew would know that I was on his or her team too!It meant not responding to e-mails while someone was trying to speak with me, and it meant not answering a phone call – and turning off my phone if I was in a scheduled meeting with a team member.
As a business owner, I came to realize that my greatest business cost – salaries – would produce better returns if I actually invested time in my employees.I developed a money consciousness that said salaries were an investment, not a liability.When I read the sixth section of the book, it was obvious that starting now was not a recommendation but an imperative.Success may start as a thought, but it must end in a whole lot of action for it to be sustainable.The Success Principles gives you 64 opportunities to take that action.All you need is the willingness to help yourself.
