A Word of Caution!
Although learning to distinguish temperamental traits will
ultimately help you understand and work with your child's temperament,
it is important to note that over a third (35%) of the children in
Chess and Thomas' study did not fit neatly into any of the three
groups. If you are confounded by your child's behavior, you might be
tempted to assign them to one of these categories and say, "So that's
why she acts this way, she's difficult." Doing this might initially
assuage your confusion, but it can also cause you to misread or
inadvertently ignore your child's needs.
Labeling your child is also hurtful and counterproductive.
Calling your child "difficult," "shy" or even "easy going" makes it
hard for them to see themselves as anything else. Distilling the
totality of a child down to a single adjective is like describing a
smooth, gooey chocolate ice cream cone as "cold."
What Makes Your Child Tick?
Collecting accurate information about your child's temperament
takes time. Carey suggests watching your child over the course of four
to six weeks. Keep a notebook on hand to jot down what you see. If you
are at work for much of the day, let your childcare provider know what
you are doing. Although they are unlikely to have the time to take
notes, they can provide important insight.
When you are with your children, observe them in a variety of
situations at different times of day; eating, playing with friends,
watching television, doing their homework and, if possible, while they
sleep. Try not to focus only on the behaviors that bother you. Adopt a
neutral, non-judgmental stance that includes your child's positive,
joyful reactions.
Some temperamental traits are easier to spot than others.
"Approach/Withdrawal" or how your child reacts to new penguins...I mean
people... is relatively obvious. "Quality of Mood", however, can be
less clear-cut since fatigue, hunger, or illness can temporarily affect
one's disposition. If you are unsure about a particular trait, keep
watching. Over time, patterns will emerge. After a few weeks, you
should have a much clearer picture of your child's true temperament.
Here are a few:
Avoiding Digestive Problems – A very young baby's digestive
system lacks the enzymes necessary for breaking down some foods so when
solids are introduced too early it can cause digestive troubles.
Ensuring Baby's Nutritional Intake – Very young infants cannot
eat enough solid food to get as many calories and nutrients as they
receive from a diet of breast milk or formula.
Steering Clear of Allergic Reactions – And finally, some
experts believe that early feeding of certain foods may trigger an
allergic reaction.
Which Foods First?
Once baby is ready for solids, what's on the menu? Doctors
typically recommend starting with a single grain baby cereal, such as
rice after six months. Pureed fruits, vegetables, meat and egg yolk are
all good solid starters. The order of introduction is not critical, but
it is best to introduce only one new food at a time and wait a few days
before starting on another. That way, if sensitivity develops you'll be
able to determine which food is causing the trouble. If a food
disagrees with your baby, you'll know–there may be an immediate
reaction such as diarrhea or vomiting. Occasionally, you'll see a
sensitivity rash–a mild redness or roughness of your baby's face or
body.
News With Susan Henrichs
Impatient Diners
Sometimes a baby who has just learned to walk hates to sit still
for mealtimes. So respect this desire to be on the move and don't keep
an active baby confined in the high chair for periods of more than 10
minutes or so.
'I...milk!' my eldest son would say at about three years old, meaning
of course, 'I want milk.' It's hard to believe now that my articulate
10-year-old son was once diagnosed with a speech delay. At the time,
however, I found it pretty traumatic when I saw his ability to vocalize
lagging far behind his friends. At age two, his peers were forming
two-word sentences while I was desperately writing a list of four or
five words my son seemed to understand and pronounce.
My experience is not uncommon: In Ontario alone, 10 percent of
children have some sort of speech or language delay. These range from
sound substitution (making a t sound instead of a k, for instance) to
being unable to use or understand language. How a given delay is
treated depends both on the specific problem and its underlying cause.
AD Kids - The Commercial Modeling Industry
Primed for Learning
"Between birth and age 8, your child's brain is uniquely hard-wired
to absorb languages and to learn to pronounce words with a native
accent," says Stacy DeBroff, mother of two and author of The Mom Book:
4,278 Tips for Moms by Moms (Free Press 2002). "Children learn
languages very differently from adults, with studies finding that
children even store a second language in a different area of the
brain." DeBroff, a former Harvard lawyer who also runs Mom Central,
Inc. and the www.momcentral.com Web site, understands the benefits of
children learning foreign languages on a neurological level as well as
a social one.
DeBroff says it is never too early to start teaching children a
foreign language. When most parents are concerned only with
comprehension of English, they fail to understand just how incredibly
children's brains function. "The earlier children start learning a
second language, the better, even as early as 1 year old," she says.
"Many teachers and linguists recommend starting the language learning
process as soon as possible, even before children become verbal in
their first language. Even though children are not speaking at that
point, they are actively absorbing and processing language."
In much the same way, Ana Flores learned English. Flores, who now
lives in New York, was born in Cuba and came to the United States at
the age of 2. Although she quickly learned English at school, Spanish
was the only language spoken at home. "I am fully bilingual and feel
that has only been an asset for me during my academic experience and
thereafter professionally," she says. "My husband was born and raised
in the Dominican Republic, and he speaks Spanish fluently. We feel that
it's important to keep that going for our children. With the way the
world is now with everything global, it can only be beneficial for her.
We also want to maintain our culture and language."
It is also important for Flores' daughter to be able to communicate
with her extended family, some of whom still live in the Dominican
Republic, while others closer to home may speak only broken English.
"We do not want the language to be a barrier," she says. "It is
important to us she be fully bilingual. Based on everything we learned
and read it makes sense to do it now rather than waiting. We felt it
would be more difficult or confusing if we waited."
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