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Work/Life: Finally, American Idol Has Something Important To Teach Us

• The meddlesome father who was recently banned from the set of “American Idol”--for trying to orchestrate every level of his son David Archuleta’s performance on the show—did his best to stay involved this past week, shouting out his recommendation, through cupped hands, that his son sing not first but second.   (I learned this through researching on the Internet.  I’m not a fan of the show or anything.  I mean, my daughter watches it, so when it’s on, I’ll watch it and everything, but…oh, never mind, no sense digging the hole any deeper.)   
• Anyway, it was difficult for Mr. Archuleta to stay out of trying to control the process by which his son may catapult to fame and fortune.  I understand this compulsion, and I recognize it because it is exactly the same kind of impulse I have to control regarding my relationship to my work.  Which may well point to the fact that Jeff, and other parents like him, have crossed into a tricky area, in which what was supposed to be their life has somehow become their work, and an obsession at that.   Kind of a “Twilight Zone” of work/life issues.  I can hear Rod Serling now: “Submitted for your approval tonight, one Jeff Archuleta.  A man whose tiny world is about to be turned upside down by the inner workings of his own mind.” 
• The act of raising children is a hard job in and of itself.  If there is a “work” part to being a parent, it’s the constant learning curve of understanding how to do it as right as you can, and how to deal with the myriad ways in which you are tested on a daily basis.  The work of parenting should not also include your child being an assignment.  If you’re bucking for an A+ on that assignment, you will burn the candle at both ends just to craft and mold it into what you consider good enough.   Not to mention, you might just end up expecting a big, fat return on your time investment, and heaven help you if your adolescent wunderkind doesn’t provide that payoff.  I’d hate for my kid to become a job that I ended up hating.  After all, it’s hard enough not to resent having to sock away the money I wanted for that flat screen on the college fund (kidding!). 
• There are any number of pat psychological explanations for what causes such over the top behavior in everyone from stage parents to the dads who start fights over a bad play at middle school hockey games.  Chief among these is the idea that a perceived failure in the adult’s life has led them to overcompensate by living out another chance at glory through their children.  I have to admit, I always wanted a career in sports, and would have wanted my son to be the next Mickey Mantle.  Thankfully, I have two daughters.  Although if one of them should show signs of being say, a Michelle Mantle, I might be hard pressed to butt out of that particular career track.