''My name is Tony, and I'm a workaholic.''

Indeed, the real problem with addressing workaholism is that it is not typically seen as a problem. Far from it. The syndrome is socially sanctioned, and in many cases, it is revered and rewarded. Robinson calls workaholism "the best-dressed problem of the 20th century." Any culture inevitably pulls people toward its norms. Ours elevates those who work relentlessly and disdains those who are more laid-back. Working 24-7 is a badge of honor in the new economy. Those who embrace long hours and devotion to the workplace not only earn a special place in the ranks of the company, but they also frequently earn more money -- which translates into even more approval in our culture.

Unfortunately, working 24-7 also takes a toll. When a sample of the children of self-described workaholics was studied, they turned out to have significantly higher rates of depression and anxiety than children of non-workaholic parents. A survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers cited preoccupation with work as one of the top four causes of divorce. Workaholics themselves evidence more destructive behavior: more alcohol abuse, more extramarital affairs, and more stress-related illnesses.

Of course, like most workaholics I know, I am quick with rationalizations. To wit: I have to earn a living, and it isn't easy in competitive times such as these. There is nothing wrong with working hard. I'm not about to become a slacker or sacrifice my standards. I love what I am doing, so it doesn't really feel like work. I believe that what I do can make a real difference in people's lives.

But what finally dawned on me the evening that I chased my car across my lawn was a subtler distinction. There is a difference between commitment and compulsion, between passion and obsession. I don't drink, do drugs, smoke, or even drink coffee. But I am both obsessive and compulsive about work. Technology, meant to make life easier, has only fueled this fire, eliminating the boundaries between work and the rest of my life, making it harder than ever to let go fully. I check my email early in the morning, throughout the day, and again late at night. I also talk on my cell phone while I'm driving, take my laptop on airplanes and vacations, and wake up in the middle of the night thinking about work. And everyone around me seems to be doing the same thing.

In my defense, I have built a series of rituals into my life to assure that I don't work all the time. I go out to dinner with my 15-year-old daughter once a week. I have a weekly date night with my wife, and we spend a couple of inviolate hours together on Saturday mornings. I volunteer as a Big Brother. I run or lift weights most days. But none of those things changes the fact that I spend the vast majority of my waking hours working or that whenever I am away from my desk, I feel an overwhelming pull back to it. I find it next to impossible to let go of work fully and so do many of the people I know: men above all, but increasingly women as well. And almost none of them sees it as a problem.

So what exactly is the problem? One way to see it more clearly is to do a little self-diagnostic exercise: Make a list of important aspects of your life -- work, family, friendship, health, service to others, relaxation. On a scale from 1 to 10, how much does each one matter? Now, on the same scale, how much time and energy are you devoting to each one? Do you, like me, find that you value virtually all of those areas of your life highly -- but give vastly more time and energy to your work than you give to others?

Strip away the rationalizations for a moment. Is there some incongruency -- even denial -- going on here? Do you overschedule yourself? Do you frequently feel rushed or impatient? Do you multitask, splitting your attention among several activities? Are you frequently exhausted in the evenings? Do you have stress-related symptoms such as headaches, digestive problems, back pain, or shortness of breath? Do thoughts about work preoccupy you even when you're not working?

What about your family? Are you really devoting significant, uninterrupted time to your spouse? To your children? Do they feel that they get enough of your attention? How much energy do you devote to friends? Are there any regular times when you spend quiet time alone? When you deeply relax? Do you have much fun in your life?

The question that I've begun asking myself is, What exactly makes work so seductive? The answers are sobering. Both of my parents were clearly workaholics, and I grew up knowing no other way. I get an adrenaline high from working and a certain restlessness and uneasiness sets in when I stop for long. Dare I call it "withdrawal"? I deeply love my family, but like so many men I know, I feel more competent at work than I do in other parts of my life, including in the relationships with those who are closest to me.