Top Jobs 2008: Courting Your Career

So you think both daters and job seekers underestimate the importance of first impressions?

I think bigger than that is the fact that people underestimate the importance of relationships and how those relationships might open doors to them in organizations. I know this is the case in the job search. I'm not really sure if there's a parallel to that in dating -- maybe people get hooked up by their friends.

You compare getting serious in a relationship with accepting a job offer. Has anyone ever accused you of being clinical and simplistic in your approach?

No, not at all. How you handle the potential backlash from turning down companies as well as that from breaking up with people can be similar. Emotions come through in both processes. Organizations get upset if you turn down a job offer and they want to know why -- just like people you break up with want to know why. That's why candidates don't want to have "that conversation" with companies.

So you disagree with the idea that falling in love is an emotional issue, while job hunters need to stay pragmatic?

You could go that route sure, but I think that job-related decisions too are based on emotions. If you interact with people during the interview process and you grow to like them, I don’t know how you separate that emotion out from your decisions -- it definitely factors in.

Do you think people who internalize your idea that a date can be seen as a type of interview could be helping their careers but hurting their dating prospects?

If you put too much pressure on yourself then yes. It's not a good idea to get caught up on subtle nuances on a first date. Anyone who has been on dates with people already knows a lot of this. Being on a first date is an interview, however -- you're trying to get a feel for where this is going, what the other person is like, whether there is a future. You're definitely interviewing each other.

Do you have any advice for the job seekers among us?

I would say the important thing is to play the field. Instead of thinking about what the best job for them is, or what puts them in the best position for the future, a lot of job seekers too narrowly define their search based on location and different variables. It's important to cast a wide net, to get to know people and develop relationships -- before you need them.

People also need to sit back and really think about whether a job could be the right one for them, and if not then they need to examine why.

My book talks about a lot of this. Although it's more for twenty-somethings out of college, feedback has been positive from a range of people -- and I'm not just referring to my mum (although she liked it too).