But when KPMG's anthem hit number one on the Web site's hit parade, PWC consultants voiced dismay at the mere number-three status of "Your World." Nothing like competition to rally the troops around the weakest of ideas. In a sudden burst of corporate pride, the PWC team started an international lobbying campaign to oust KPMG's strategy song from the top spot, Raettig says.

And then the whole business got scary. The KPMG song took on a life of its own. Visitors started downloading the KPMG song and remixing it to beats far less earnest than the arms-clasped rendition that Schlueter directed. Think Barney meets Metallica.

Dan(iel) Burzynski, head of technology at UpMyStreet, a London-based real-estate service, remixed the song in an hour on a Friday afternoon.

"It was too funny not to," he says. "KPMG seemed to take itself just a little bit too seriously. I've worked with people from the firm, and they seemed to be either people who could take a joke or hardcore businesspeople. I wanted to cheer up the geezers and take the piss out of the suit wearers!"

Burzynski opted for a jungle edge, but he has competition from a hard-rock mix and a "Teutonic" mix -- not to mention the version for a Nokia ring tone.

KPMGers around the world started secretly playing the song at their desks and rewriting lyrics. A mortified New Zealand KPMG consultant, who declined to be identified, revised the lyrics to read: "KPMG -- Living a life of mediocrity/inanity."

Suddenly all this absurdity began to feel normal. Life, even in consulting, imitates art. Charts, fans, downloads, remixes, Weird Al Yankovic-esque spoofs.

Earnest kitsch becomes camp, morphs to ironic, and transmogrifies to cool. This year's KPMG consultants' conference will feature a reprise of the strategy song. More than 3,000 consultants from Germany, Austria, and Switzerland will attend the meeting. Imagine them linked, arm in arm. Can Total Request Live be far behind?

Sidebar: Billboard or Bust

Beware, Britney! Watch out, 'N Sync! The CDU rates chart-topping hits from KPMG and PWC. Visit the following audio links, hosted by http://www.corporateanthems.raettig.org

KPMG

Our Vision of Global Strategy (Original version)

The best of the '80's, '90s, and today. Listen for this aspirational refrain on your local lite-rock station -- or as the closing number in the next Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.

KPMG Jungle Mix

Consultants on ecstasy will get jiggy with this blend of ska, reggae, and techno.

KPMG Hard-Rock Mix

Think Bon Jovi meets the Heaven's Gate cult. This inconsistent version starts off slow but builds to crescendo of sampled guitar riffs from Guns 'n' Roses, AC/DC, and the Clash. A headbanger's ball? Perhaps not.

KPMG Teutonic Mix

This industrial-metal version fails to inspire PowerPoint greatness with its clashing cymbals, Rammstein-inspired chants, and Nordic-parade-march tempo.

PricewaterhouseCoopers

Your World

It's a little bit country, a little bit rock 'n' roll -- and a lot cheese. This rival ditty aims for a grand finish but misses the mark with its melody -- a pale comparison to KMPG's toe-tapper. Prepare to flick your Zippo open and sway back and forth uncontrollably.

For more musical lunacy, see Raettig's corporate anthems site.