Work/Life: Hey, Robert Downey, Jr...Wanna Play "Irony Man?"

 

  • Okay, Mr. Downey, Jr., it’s clear that after the boffo boxoffice on Iron Man that you have just landed yourself a sweet role in anongoing franchise.  Well, this isAmerica, bud, and you can’t have too much of a good thing, I always say.  Like every other unfulfilled sad sackin the business world, I have a screenplay languishing under the collection ofdried-out stamp pads in the third drawer down on the right hand side of myoffice desk.  And, if I may be sobold, Robert, this one has your name on it.  It’s entitled "Irony Man." 
  • It’s the story of a wealthy industrialist who designs hisown high-tech weaponry; a position which, as you might guess, keeps him bothimpossibly busy and emotionally unavailable to those who love him most.  Now, if you are sitting down, Bob,comes the irony so subtly implied by the film’s title: you see, every time ourprotagonist is put on the spot by his wife and children who feel therelationship slipping away because of his unhealthy obsession with financialsuccess, he shoots back, "but why do you think I work so hard?  I do it for all of you!"  
  • This is the engine of irony that drives the entiremovie.  And it would be a goodchange of pace for you.  The bigaction sequences in this picture are about the actions of the human heart.  (Not literally.  No shots of a pumping heart oranything.  It’s a metaphor.  You’re an artist, Rob.  You "get" what I’m talking about,right?)  In the same vein, this isa film where the chase scenes are about a man trying to catch up to his owninner pain: the deep psychic wound that occurred in his childhood and has lefthim someone incapable of true feeling, siphoning all of his passion into hiswork.  I leave it up to you, as you"prepare" for the role, to decide exactly what the nature of that psychicwounding was for our protagonist. However,  if you would likeany guidance from me I would say (just off the top of my head of course) thatyou might think about what it was like to be raised by a domineering, hugelysuccessful CEO who did not have enough insight into his driven nature to seehow it was impacting his family, while at the same time being indulged by anover-protective mother against whom he could do no wrong, leaving him ahopeless bipolar mess with no internal guidance system to help him operate inthe world.  Just a direction youmight go, that’s all. 
  • Mr. Downey, Jr., I’m sure you can relate to how many men outthere would, if pressed, have to admit to being an "Irony Man."  Taking on this role in mylong-unproduced (and, yes, a bit overlong right now but I’m dong some judiciousediting) screenplay would show the world that what’s important to you goesdeeper than a titanium alloy suit and more distracting special effects than theDemocratic primaries.  When you’reready, call my agent.  Actually, ifyou could call someone who might be able to get me an agent, that would help,too.   Well, gotta go. The extra time it has taken me to compose this letter has, ironically,further alienated me from my family.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Add New Comment

0 Comments