How to Stay Awake in Boring Meetings

This just popped up in my inbox...
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Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) the next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
Synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, best practice, bottom line, revisit, expeditious, to tell you the truth (or "the truth is), 24/7, out of the loop, benchmark, value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the box, fast track, result-driven, knowledge base, at the end of the day, touch base, mindset, client focus(ed), paradigm, game plan, leverage.

3. Now check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
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"Real Testimonials" from satisfied players, after the jump...

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." - Adam W., Atlanta

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." - David T., Orlando

"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." - Dan J., New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours. The Bullshit Bingo Championship will be played at the next meeting." - Rod H

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24 Comments

  • cathy

    "Things just suddenly fell into place, and all of a sudden I found myself in contention for the bullshit bingo finals"

  • Chace

    Well I won the game but I lost my job. When I screamed bullshit my old boss had security throw me out of the building. I stayed awake though!!!

  • Dr. M.OConnell

    Who let Melissa near a computer?? Please, do not entertain her. She hasnt had her medication today and the shock therapy from yesterday didnt go so well. If anyone see's her, call security asap. We have her little white jacket waiting.

    Dr. M Oconnell
    Lead Psychiatrist
    Moose Lake Mental Hospital

  • Alan

    Well done on "Going forward" Mike, you beat me to the punch as I was reading down through this and it was the one buzzword that I hate above all others that hadn't been noted.

  • roger fulton

    my favorite for bullshit bingo was in marketing plans,...no, not the one'sI wrote. The one's I got back the boss didn't like and he re-wrote them.
    Synergy..Moving forward, newthinking for the new
    year. BS up to hear. Then, I was ordered to sign off on it and the numbers.
    Couch City.

  • Andy

    The design team I was a part of at company that I worked for back in 1998 used to secretly play this. We had to stop, though when a coworker of mine mouthed the word "Bingo" within the first five minutes of our CEO giving a pep-talk and we all nearly peed ourselves laughing.

    Jackie Peters: Way to make sure you get that link out there, dude.

  • Jackie Peters

    I can't see anyone winning all too quickly at Heavybag Media. We talk a lot of bull, but it's not usually cased in buzz words, and I don't think anyone sitting in one of our status meetings would have the patience to wait for five of them before they did anything about it. We call eachother on our BS almost before it's even left the offenders mouth.