Top O' the Market: A Consumer's Guide

	Trump World Tower	Richard Meier's Perry Street towers	20 Pine	The Jade	Miraval Living	William Beaver House
The pitch	"The Greatest Condominium Building in the World!"	The Getty Museum, curated by Page Six celebutards	Spring Break! SAC Capital Advisors heads to Milan.	Heroin chic, via Ibiza. Includes hammam/recovery area	Inspired Living meets The Nanny Diaries	Howard Stern hosts Private Air magazine relaunch party.
Extreme marketing ploy	Pimping out a hard-to-sell penthouse to Esquire magazine for use as multisponsor "ultimate bachelor pad"	No marketing. If you need to be pitched, you don't belong.	Sales office open 24-7 so BSD's can put 75% cash down without missing that next "sweet" deal	A 360-degree IMAX movie of Jade Jagger lets her glam life rub off on little ol' you	Congratulations: You now live in an ashram! Principal Steve Case to host wheatgrass mixer	By night, sales office becomes … the Beaver Bar. Cocktails: $8. Libido: bottomless
Brand signature	The tallest residential buiding on the planet--until it was trumped by the 21st Century Tower in Dubai	Meier's famous glass "curtain walls"	Armani ad nauseum, down to a replica of the Milan catwalk in sales office	Rooftop soaking tubs with city views	Spa has 12 flavors of massage, yoga, even nose-hair trimming services	A glass-bottomed Jacuzzi over entrance, for easy "talent check" on homecoming
Superfluous amenity	"[Yankee players] can just drive immediately up to Yankee Stadium directly, so they don't have to go through the traffic." --the Donald	Precious few for the money. A later Meier tower on Charles Street was chock-a-block with 'em--and blocked the Perry Street views.	Virtual Golf range; free breakfast for folks on floors 25 and above	Sales brochure contains recipes, such as "South American Fishcakes for Friends," presumably from the dubiously domestic Jade herself.	25-foot "Quantum Leap" pole, for practicing "living in the moment"	Gymnastic rings and a trapeze, for perfecting circus skills
Over-the-top service	Kobe beef chateaubriand (Trumps's fave) from the ground-floor restaurant, Megu Midtown, which clocks in at $180	N/A: See above.	A concierge service that can rustle you up a pair of albino peacocks	Lapis Lounge: the Bungalow 8 on the roof	Six-week condo-sponsored sex series will "take your relationship to the next level."	30-person "disco convertible" screening room with lavender "cinema beds"
Price range	$952.5K to over $13.5M for penthouse	$2M for the cheapo lower floors; $15M for Bill Joy's three-story self-tribute	$770K to $4.5M for penthouse	$550K to $4M for penthouse	$650K to $3.5M	$890K, for a one bedroom, to $2.5M, for a penthouse
Who lives there	Yankee stars Derek Jeter and Hideki Matsui own; A-Rod rented. Bill Gates reportedly owns one.	Calvin Klein, Nicole Kidman, Martha Stewart, and Bill Joy have all called it home.	Chef Thomas Keller, of Per Se and French Laundry; radio talk-show host Joy Browne	Fashionistas a few shekels short of fabulous; Lucy Liu took a look.	Targeted at Andrew Weil groupies and Ayurvedic arrivistes	Wall Street horndogs and the people who briefly love them
Kitchen	Trumpian glitz: high gloss cabinetry, mirrored backsplashes, but--by 2007 standards--déclassé GE appliances	N/A: space delivered raw, the better for buyers like Martha Stewart to customize	Stealthy: rift-cut white- oak cabinetry hides Sub-Zero fridge and oven	Nominal: kitchen-in-a-box, in British racing green and duck-egg blue, e.g.	Ecologically correct: environmentally sustainable, bacteria-resistant countertops	Invisible: "attaché kitchen" (an homage to 20 Pine) completely concealed behind white lacquer
Bath	Bidets in the bath, Imperador marble in the powder room	See above.	Superhard Brazilian ipe wood; Waterworks fixtures	Bath-in-a-box, in same cheery tones	Crema d'orcia bamboo-textured limestone tiles	Louvered walls open to bedroom, perfect for postcoital peeping
Ugly underside	A board member who allegedly summoned a handyman and then "paraded around fully naked." Also, rumors of denizens with "troubling criminal pasts."	Disastrous, floor-destroying leaks; heating problems; lengthy construction delays; random snipers; tenant feuds	Two blocks from ground zero	One elevator for 56 units--including the penthouse	Top floors overlook: (a) condos incinerated by Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle's plane; (b) giant ConEd smokestack	See "brand signature."
Brand guru	The Donald	Starchitect Richard Meier	Fashion designer Giorgio Armani	Mick's kid, Jade Jagger	Mindfulness guru Andrew Weil	Nightclub impresario André Balazs
Existential caveat	In 1999, Walter Cronkite led opposition to the building based on the "unnecessary grossness of this project.'' And that's the way it is.	People who live in glass houses can still get stuck with a view of New Jersey.	However slick, your casa will be ringside for ground-zero construction.	Jade is happy to share her "lifestyle" with you, but she has enough friends.	You can have too much of a good thing--dermabrasion, for one.	Even a Kohler showerhead can't wash off a stain on your soul.