When the alarm buzzes in the morning you:
- Hit snooze for the next hour and a half
- Get up on time and head for the coffeepot
- Never hear it; you left for work two hours ago
When the boss calls you in for a meeting you:
- Shed 10 pounds of nervous sweat
- Quietly sigh and run through a list of potential topics in your head
- Silently pump your fist at the chance to spend a little face time with the big cheese
When you see the company logo you:
- Want to throw up
- Feel a reluctant twinge of pride
- Point out to passersby that you work there
On a Saturday night at 11:30 p.m., you think about:
- How much jail time you'd do if you poisoned your boss
- How much jail time the bad guys got that night on Cops
- How dreadfully long it will be until Monday morning arrives
When your salary review rolls around you:
- Obsess about how underappreciated you are
- Hope for the best
- Ignore it; you'd work for free if you could
Your favorite water cooler topic is:
- How much life sucks at your company
- Celebrity arrests
- That cool new project you're working on
You harbor dreams of someday:
- Fleeing your dank professional prison
- Owning a boat
- Running the company
The song stuck in your head at work is:
- "Burning Down the House"
- "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
- "Good Day Sunshine"
In your desk drawer you keep:
- Antacids and headache medicine
- Candy to keep you alert in the afternoon
- A toothbrush for all-nighters
SCORING: For each answer, A=0, B=1, C=2. Total your score.
0-6 Cold Fish: You're a Prozac overdose waiting to happen. We wish we could give you some comforting advice. Instead, just one word: Quit! Now! Before it's too late to save yourself.
7-12 Slow Burn: You once loved work, but the romance is fading. You're not where you want or need to be in your career. The question is: Can you get there if you stay in this relationship?
13-18 Hot to the Touch: Keep doing what you love and love what you're doing! But before you get too hopelessly devoted, pay attention to that social life of yours. It exists for a reason.
A version of this article appeared in the March 2004 issue of Fast Company magazine.