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Today in Tabs

CES 2016: Wearable Shareable Aerial Rideables

Welcome to the doomed media convergence fest.

[Photo: ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images]

Adrianne Jeffries has been one of my favorite technology writers since the very beginning of Tabs, and she remains the person whose bullshit detector I put the most faith in. So I’m extremely pleased that she’s here today, straight from VICE’s hipster-infested Brooklyn headquarters where she edits Motherboard, to bring us the latest tech news.

Vegas is the future, where people spend most of their time indoors and the water tastes like recycled sewage. That's why the show formerly known as the Consumer Electronics Show is held there every year. All the cool nerds are at CES, and there’s some good technology to be found there, though it’s like hunting for diamonds in garbage. I'm actually feeling a bit of FOMO this year, which is very unusual. This is Adrianne, by the way.

So, what are we all missing? The buzzword this year is rideables, so get ready to hear that one a lot in 2016. The rideables space is already cutthroat, with one "hoverboard" company at CES calling the cops on another "hoverboard" company.

Segway made a rideable robot butler, and Swagway made a fire-retardant Swagtron with Bluetooth speakers. Cars are just large rideables, by the way, and anything is possible when it's ~imaginary~.

The Oculus Rift is expensive, probably because if you are the type of person who will complain about that, the company doesn't want you to buy it yet. The FAA continues to harsh everyone's mellow, casting its doleful bureaucratic eye on a company that claims to have developed a human-carrying drone, or "autonomous sky rideable." T-Mobile CEO John Legere said swears at the EFF. And there’s a television you can roll up like a newspaper, finally bringing together the two biggest doomed media formats.

VTech, the toy company that got suuuper hacked, now wants to sell you home security. Feel free to buy me this pocket thermal imaging camera so I can pretend I'm in real-life Metal Gear Solid. If you want a utilitarian guide to the trade show, please do give The Wirecutter your clicks for this excellent piece of service journalism. If you really want to get a sense of CES, though, you should just go read the entire Twitter feed of @internetofshit.


What about outside the desert? Normcore is back, thanks to Making a Murderer. Early reports from my fellow Rdio refugees say Spotify's Discover playlists are pretty great. More justice-by-Yelp. It's widely known that "your" and "you're" are synonymous (except in England). And remember: It's always a good time to invest in Bitcoin, as anyone who owns Bitcoin will tell you.

This was good. This was lovely. This piece, not in the New York Observer, was nevertheless classic New York Observer. Happy birthday, Roy Batty. In The Atlantic, Ingrid Burrington noticed that something interesting is happening in Virginia. And The Marshall Project has an excellent Q&A about life in the nation's highest security federal prison.

Thanks for reading! Since I have this platform today, I'm going to use it to advertise a Tumblr I maintain that gives true insight into the daily life of the editor-in-chief of a leading technology publication.

~Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from tabs.~

Thanks Adrianne! Remember not to eat the gummy bears. Also thanks to Fast Company, please subscribe, and I will see you all next week.

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