5 Ways To Crash Your Own Pity Party

If you're in the midst of hard times, here's how to stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about what's bringing you down.

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems that the world is one big pigeon, just waiting to crap on your front steps? Sure, we all have.

Then someone comes along and tells you to stay positive; you feel like strangling them on the spot.

While our mind is telling us we should be positive, our feelings are screaming at us to tell the world where to stick it. Regardless of how we feel, we realize that it won’t do us any good to continue to have our own pity party, and we need to move on.

There are things we can do that will help us turn our attitude around, brighten our day, and shorten our stay in a negative state next time it seems that the world is out to get us.

Here are five things we can do.

1. Step away and get a reality check


When we are in a negative state, we have a tendency to see problems greater than they are, overreact, and imagine things in a situation that really don’t exist. This causes the problem to snowball and become worse.

Ask yourself these questions:

"Is there anything I can do at this time to keep the problem from getting worse?"

"Is it possible for the problem to be worse than it is?"

This may help you to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

If you feel stuck in negativity, you can ask someone you trust to give you their perspective. This close individual is likely not caught up emotionally in the problem and may be able to view the situation in a clearer and unbiased manner.

2. Look for a positive and focus on it


When you have just found out some bad news, it will not be easy to focus on something positive. Try to shift your thinking away from the negative to a situation that has gone well, positive events, or something that has brought you joy and happiness in the past. If this makes it easier, great, if not just try to think of something neutral. Do whatever it takes to shift your focus.

3. Look past the situation


Think of difficult situations that you have been through in your past. Become aware that this too will pass. Try to imagine what it will be like in one year, five years, or ten years from now looking back on this time. Doing this will help you focus on doing the difficult work that you need to do to get through a crisis, while at the same time it will provide the perspective that this problem is only one thing in your ongoing life.

4. Ask for and accept help


Successful people have a strong support network that they can count on to support them in times of need. If you have such a network, this is the time to reach out and ask for help. Knowing when we need help and asking for it is a sign of strength, not of weakness. We feel good when we are able to help others, so let others experience that same feeling by being able to help you in times of need.

If you don’t have an immediate support network, there are organizations in the community whose purpose it is to offer support in your situation. Reach out to them in difficult times.

5. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude


Every morning, before I start my day I have a gratitude book in which I write at least 10 things for which I am grateful. When having a bad day, it helps me to go back to that list and become aware of all the good there is in my life.

Developing an awareness of all the positives and remembering them is a powerful tool that helps us overcome adversity and the difficult times that are an inevitable part of life.

[Image: Wooden floor after a party via Shutterstock]

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