Is This The Most Epic "I Quit" Email Ever?

If you're going to burn a few bridges, at least be poetic about it.

The Internet is great because it can spark revolutions.

Also: the Internet is great because it can elevate complaining into an art form, the most delightfully invective of which might be the 'I Quit' email—especially if it takes the form of a hashtag-laden, Beyonce-ful listicle.

Recently surfaced on Gawker, the missive shows a young woman massively flummoxed by her young career in auditing. So she, who keeps her anonymity in the Gawker post, leaves PricewaterhouseCooper while epically fed up:

I've done two audit internships, one at Deloitte and one at PwC. I hated it then but I thought I'd give it a third try. Third time's a charm right? GTFOH(If you don't know what it means Google it!) Basically, my time here as an associate has confirmed everything I already knew ten times over. Auditing is a job for people who truly don't have any other options and don't know what else they could be doing. You work day in and day out pulling useless documentation and filling out useless workpapers that won't really benefit anybody. All of it is BS!

While the suitability (and maturity) of such a public and permanent bridgeburning may be called into question, you have to hand it to our correspondent for her acid-tongued calling-it-like-she-sees-it: people get burned out real quick when they don't have any connection with their jobs and keep slogging away.

Aside from the way she declares her allegiance to Beyonce in the subject line (Farewell and QUEEN BEY ALL DAY!), the best part is the bullet points at the bottom distilling various parts of her displeasure. And, oh yes, the hashtags:

Auditing is for the birds, get a real career that has meaning #dontbeFAKEaboutitbeABOUTit

Or this railing against sponsorship:

Those coach and partner "relationships" or "meetings"....whatever you want to call them....Just stop. #thatishissoawkward #icantdeal #soforced #fakeconvosforfakeauditors #noidontwanttogazeintoyoureyesatatablefortwo #waytoointimateformytaste

Or this corner-office regicide:

Let's keep it real, partners are treated as if they're royalty. The reality is, THEY'RE NOT! They are average Joe's like you and I, only their pockets are a little bigger. So, there is no need to wait at the partner's feet acting like you'll do any and everything to please them. For what? No need to come in early just to greet the partner on the job. No need to act like you're such an overachiever by doing all of these unnecessary things. If you're an overachiever, be a real one..not a phony. No need to wait until the partner leaves during busy season only to leave 20 minutes later. Your time is just as valuable, are the partners God? I don't think so...#don'tbeasellout #thepartnerisgoinghometoeathisorherwarmsupper #whileyouarefakeauditng #weallknownooneisproductiveafterabout7pm #gohomeandcuddleupwithyourkids #ohandspousestoo #isntthatwhatthepartnersaredoing? #ohwellsIdigress

The conclusion: while hashtags are awesome, they're still not quite as charming as an interpretative dance.

Hat tip: Gawker

[Skidding Away: Dubassy via Shutterstock]

Add New Comment

34 Comments

  • William Harrison

    You can't start your career as a partner unless your dad owns the firm. And even if Daddy runs the place, interns don't get to make decisions.

    She acts like the firm lied to her. They did not: Auditing involves following rules. They say so right there in the interview.

    She also acts like the school tricked her into studying accounting. The first Accounting 101 class is a dead giveaway: It is not a field known for artistry and creativity.

  • blah blah

    This was on theChive not long ago. Turns out the whole video was fake. The actress confirmed it. I was fooled the first time I saw it and even sent it to friends and family.

  • William Russell

    So, can someone explain to me about the hashtagging, specifically what it does, why would you, and why it hates punctuation of any kind? I don't use sites like gawker (never even heard of it), tumblr, pinterest, or any of the newer social sites, but it's my understanding that SHIFT+3 gets pressed a lot at those places. I used Twitter when it was brand spanking new, and hashtagging was sort of an 'advanced' feature that didn't have any instructions to go with it, and getting any info seemed very much like a "if you don't know then you're not one of us" qualifier, like the exclusionary tactics used by kids at the start of the school year to determine who the class pariah is going to be, or the crowd at 4chan when determining who to hack next. I quit using Twitter not long after I began using it, as its more handy for someone who is on the go, away from their PC, and needs real time social networking connectivity. Have 1G smartphone will tweet. I'm not someone who needed or could have made the most from the new tech, so Twitter became another site I didn't use, like MySpace. Since then the use of hashtags has become virtually ubiquitous, so can someone please explain what it's all about?

  • Noel Gill

    That was undoubtedly unprofessional, but who knows what the poor thing went through out there. One really does have to have an ulterior motive to come up with something like that.
    Plus, I'm sure this resignation did make all the fury eyebrowed, no-nonsense, no-smiling partners and executives at the firm finally LOL in their seats behind their desks (not to mention seriosuly envy the spark and creativity in the young lass that the most of them prolly lost it way back in their wild chase in the corporate jungle).

  • Dreck

    The only thing in this country that needs auditing, is The Federal Feserve Bank and Internal Revenue Service.

  • Darth Kenyan

    She should listen to Ashton Kutcher. Are you too good for that job honey. Do you really think you'll someday find an employer that appreciates you as much as your mother does? Good luck honey. Now everyone in the WORLD knows you have no work ethic. I see homelessness in your future.

  • cb in austin

    Internships are usually grunt work. They're a foot in the door. Figure out a way to be the best intern possible and you'll stand out which could lead to a job. Do some research to find tips and best-practices. Show some initiative. Maybe this woman isn't cut out for accounting. One of my accounting profs in grad school said, "Accountants are people who want to be morticians but don't have the personality for it."

  • Juiced

    Internsihips are something you do when there is no other chance to get into your chosen field. I went back to school to earn a degree, and my company transferred me from my last position to a paid internship with the engineers (degree I was going for.) I didn't do much inovation or the things I thought engineering would be... My time was spent double checking bolt holes and weld alignments on the CAD and blueprints as well as listening to a more experienced engineer drone on about something in the past that may or may not be related to the question I asked while pouring him some coffee. Internships show you the worst of your job, and when you get the full time position, then you get to see the real day to day duties (mixed.) I've had my degree for over 5 years now, and I still shudder at the mention of my internship days.

    I'd let you know some of the jokes my accounting instruction had said (I took business courses as filler,) but they are borderline in the foul language department. But one of the accountants in finance/payroll has a sign on his cubicle saying "None of the bosses likes me, so what makes you think I'll like you?" on his wall for the time I've been with the company (12 years.)

  • cb in austin

    Auditing is the starting point for entry into a big accounting firm. She's already done it twice so obviously Deloitte and PwC weren't impressed with her.

  • Guest

    I've never quit a job before...But if that day ever comes, I would do a cheerleading routine. And it won't be nice.

  • gotoafterburners

    This is a staged ad for a job site folks...did you actually bite?

  • Adam

    Well this article waisted a few mins of my time. Might have to check who the author is first.

    This is a let down from FC.

  • Will

    I remember the days when Fast Company was a respected publication with intelligent and meaningful business articles. Glorifying this little millennial child's public tantrum is a new low.

  • Karen Maxwell

    Bridges are normally built for crossing not burning...but maybe she was ensuring there'd be no coming back. Perhaps more balls than brains but she's free and she can dance.