How Frank Ocean, Warren Buffett, And Other Badasses Deal With Soul-Sucking Haters

If jerks are being jerky to you, just "don’t ever forget the reason you started doing what you do." That and five other smart tips on not letting the steez-challenged mess with your steez.

As we in the career hustle know, the moment you start doing awesome work, you become vulnerable to people stoked on shaming others. An example: Look at the torrent of heinousness that surrounded Frank Ocean last year after he came out.

So how to deal with haters? One option, as Neil Gaiman proclaimed and Ocean exhibited, is to make honeyed, soul-affecting music.

Frank Ocean, "Thinking About You": A best practice for hate-resilience is to make strange, amazing things.

But what about for the people who don't sing soul?

There is hope in the jealous working world, coming from Pioneers Press, the certifiably badass bookbinders from the prairies of Kansas. They recently blogged a few selections from their zine The Do-It-Yourself Guide to Fighting the Big Motherfuckin’ Sad, which is, according to author Adam Gnade, an antidepression handbook and a "guide to a freer, more lawless life."

As proponents of living well-lived lives, please allow us to curate a few of his more punching points below, cordoned off in helpful block quotes.

1: "People will always shit on the things they’re scared of."

So scare them. Innovation is heresy.

2: "Read more than you drink."

Reading books is still one of the best ways to discover new things. Getting drunk probably isn't--though a few beers may help you be more creative.

3: "Learn the difference between honesty and being a dick."

Feedback is hard to give well. You don't have to be a world-renowned philosopher to present criticism that's accurate, helpful, and adhesive--but it does help.

4: "If you live with monsters, you’ll become monstrous. This can be good and it can be bad. You need to keep your perspective and know when it’s time to quit a bad scene."

Like the epically avuncular Warren Buffett says, you become like the people you associate with: You are your network. If you only know jerks, find nice people.

5: "Don’t ever forget the reason you started doing what you do. When you do forget (and you will, if you get enough attention), find that thing again and get to know it. Have a second honeymoon with the things you once loved."

When you're wading through rejection, creation, and then rejection again, it's easy to get burned out--especially if you're constantly comparing yourself to those that succeeded you. To handle those inner and outer haters, Gnade says, find the reason why you're doing your hardest work.

6: "Too many good ones are gone. Be the new good ones. And: You’ll always have critics, but if you listen to them we won’t always have you."

As our friend (and comparative mythologist) Joseph Campbell once said, if we are to give any gift to the world, it will come out of our own experience and fulfilling our own potential, not someone else's. So, just do it: Slay the vampires. And get the dirt off your shoulder.

DO-IT-YOURSELF GUIDE TO DEALING WITH YOUR CRITICS/THE HATERS

[Base Image: Flickr user Mike Behnken]

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9 Comments

  • jolievie

    This is all so true hings like this have happened me with people who I thought were my closest female friends and I mean two in particular .One was bad mouthing me and telling lies behind my back and it went on until I decided to cut her out of my life and never has someone clung on so hard and it wasn't ''because she missed the friendship it was because if she wasn't in my life she couldn't have any control over it and that terrified her because she couldn't spread lies about me any more then.With these people they like to be in your life because they can destroy it from the inside out so the only way is to cut them out and let them eat your dust.

  • LLBJD

    Which is why "the cheese stands alone", much of the time. No time to obsess about the lack of colleagues or professional support in this forsaken burg
    . Love the Obama shoulder-flicking...

  • Gold Beard

    Humor is great, as is honesty. But both, when used aggressively, can be ugly and damaging...

  • Sprocket_365

     I'm pretty sure Frank Ocean got caught thats why he came out but anyway
    embrace your talent. Its easier to embrace and be different when people
    accept your talents.

  • St Martyr

    Nope that isn't true if you BOTHERED to read his letter or any of his tumblr since 2010 when he started. Not only did he talk about suicide in his letter but on tumblr he posted images of guys AND in his music-nostalgia ultra-he mentioned men. Oh and he said he was Bi in song with Odd future but hey, who needs facts when you can be snarky and bitchy on the net!?

  • chris asberry

     I dont think so but he had started preforming forest gump and probably a few other songs that made people skeptical. In articles about a week or two before he came out people started questioning his sexuality.

  • St Martyr

    And if any of these mean people bothered to check his tumblr, they will see that he made a post in Dec '11 about the letter and saying how depressed he was feeling.