Stuck On Holiday Messages For Clients And Coworkers? Steal These

If you don’t have time to prepare personalized holiday messages (but want to look like you did), here are 7 pre-packaged greetings for the taking. And a happy holiday to you.

At this time of the year, most of us have stack of holiday cards on our desks waiting to be sent out to friends, family, and business associates. Wouldn’t it be great to include original heartfelt wishes to each of those who are dear to us? But who are you kidding? Do you really have the time to actually come up clever thoughts or even search the web for someone else’s (copied) ideas? What you really need is a cheat sheet of clever quotes you can use, with sample text to add as your "personal message."

As a public service, here are 7 quotes and corresponding (mostly tongue-in-cheek) wishes for your "personal" holiday greetings. Look out, Hallmark!

For an Employee or Colleague
"Truth emerges more readily from error than from confusion." —Francis Bacon (Novum Organum—1620)

"Dear colleague, If you truly seek truth, my advice to you is to make many more mistakes in the coming year…just not on my projects. Best wishes for happy holidays and a happy new year."

For a Boss
"Work in the main, is no longer the manipulation of things, but of meanings."—Ernest Gellner – Philosopher and Social Anthropologist

"Dear boss, in keeping with your desire to makes ours a more modern and nimble organization, I suggest that we take advice from this famous philosopher. As a first step, I make a new year’s resolution to manipulate more meanings in the coming year. And I will start with my progress reports as a test case. Best wishes for a happy and productive new year."

For a Colleague, Family Member, or Friend
"Advice is equal to limited experience and overgeneralization."—Paul Buchheit, creator of Gmail and FriendFeed.

"Dear friend, As a new year’s resolution, I have decided to adopt Paul Buchheit’s credo. So feel free to look to me for valuable advice in the coming year! Caveat emptor. Happy new year!"

For a Colleague, Family Member, or Friend
"The most important thing is to be there when the picture is painted. And this it seems to me is partly a matter of luck and partly good judgments, inspiration, and persistent application."—Francis Crick, Nobel Prize Winner for his co-discovery of the DNA structure

"Put 2012 behind you. The upcoming year is a completely clean slate to succeed in new endeavors. So ‘be there,’ be persistent, and use your best judgment in all your undertakings. Luck and inspiration will surely follow. Happy holidays!"

For a Mechanic or Repairman
"With great power comes great responsibility."—Spiderman (Stan Lee)

"Much appreciation for all your hard work this year! Please consider Spiderman’s advice when calculating my bills in the coming year. Happy holidays." (Note: Slip this greeting in an envelope with your yearly tip.)

For an Employee Who Missed Many Days of Work During the Year
"Tell me a fact and I’ll learn. Tell me the truth and I will believe. But tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever." –-ancient proverb

"YOU made my year! None of the old "I have a personal emergency" for you. No…you came up with the most creative and inventive excuses in the book for being absent from work. Your best was [insert excuse here][/insert]. Kudos to you for your imagination! Your excuses will live in my heart forever, but now that your skills have been recognized, I look forward to a year of stellar attendance in the coming year. Happy holidays."

For an Employee
"The manager’s job is designed to swallow the weak man and cage the strong one."—Henry Mintzberg, professor of business and management

"Congratulations on this year’s promotion. I look forward to managing you in the coming year. Enjoy your holidays."

—David Lavenda is a high-tech product strategy and marketing executive. He also does academic research on information overload in organizations and he is an international scholar for the Society for the History of Technology. He tweets from @dlavenda.

[Image: Flickr user Alessandra Raimondi]

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