WotWentWrong App Gathers Big Data From Bad Daters

Finally, an app that systematically destroys your self-esteem!

No romcom has meant more to my life than He's Just Not That Into You, Ken Kwapis' 2009 magnum opus about how, sometimes, there's just no better explanation for why a relationship didn't work out. But for many, that explanation never cuts it--especially for developer Audrey Melnik.

This week, she's launching WotWentWrong, a web app that solves the "mystery of why promising new romances ended unexpectedly or successful first dates vanished." Rather than let one-time affairs just fade away--which can cause "lasting damage to someone's self-esteem and future relationships"--Melnik has created a method for receiving customized feedback about what went wrong. “WotWentWrong is the breakup app for couples who never really broke up,” she says. “We’re providing a socially acceptable way to tie up the loose ends, learn from what happened and improve your dating Zen for the next relationship--no stalking required.”

Normally, when women return my calls or texts after a first date (which isn't a normal occurrence at all), the responses vary. "You kept insisting you were the 11th-place finisher on the 14th season of Survivor--which isn't that impressive, and, I just found out, is not even true," one dissatisfied customer told me. Other explanations range from, "It was weird that you repeatedly pointed out how your second cousin was Wade Boggs' former publicist," to "Why did you keep boasting about how you have Central air conditioning? It was the dead of Winter."

Now, WotWentWrong can automate these unjustified justifications for me in one slick user interface. Features on the site include the WotWentWrong List, a set of pre-defined explanations for breaking up with someone; Proactive Feedback, a tool that enables an ex to provide detailed suggestions for future dates; and Anonymous Stats, a data aggregation service that will stack your romantic success against others online.

"To encourage exes with answering feedback, the process is incentivized with survey results to questions about how attractive the person found them, how good a kisser, dresser or conversationalist they are," the startup said in a statement.

Because nothing can boost your self-esteem like discovering what an unattractive, bad kisser you are, with poor fashion taste and even poorer conversation skills.

[Image: Flickr user Terren in Va]

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