Louis C.K. (here with actress Hadley Delany) uses interactions with his real-life daughters as fodder for his Emmy-nominated series.

Louis C.K.: The Next Steve Jobs Will Be A Chick

The comedian (and father of two daughters) salutes the feminine future.

Let me start off by saying that in the natural order of things, girls appear to be the preference. They tend to make up 51% of the population overall, because men tend to do stupid things and die off before they're 40. So if you trust in nature, nature is saying that the world is a better place when there are more girls around than boys. It's not just me saying girls are better.

I myself have two daughters, a 9-year-old and a 6-year-old, and I've learned from those girls how to be a better man. If I'd had a boy, then there'd be two shitty versions of me. The last thing I need to do is fail twice with two different people: me and my son. But I benefit from an uncomplicated relationship with my daughters—I get to observe how great they are. I'm always learning from them, and they are well-mannered with far better living habits than I have. When I get up in the morning, for instance, they're already dressed, with their teeth brushed and looking nice. I'm not capable of any of that.

But on a deeper level of ability, my girls are interested in other people. They notice stuff and take part in doing things that I don't know if a boy would notice. They do the right thing, they treat people well, and they listen to other people—boys at their age are just these little balls of want. This is, of course, a generalization; a lot of girls end up being selfish and obnoxious as grown-ups, just like some men are really sensitive and thoughtful. But I generally prefer females to spend a lot of time with. Girls are good roommates; they're good company when you go shopping; they're a lot of fun to hang out with in the car when you're just sitting in traffic. Those little things add up to a better life.

Overall, I think it's a good time to have a girl in the 21st century because things are changing, with more opportunities for women. But girls are still the underdog, which means they'll work harder, and everybody loves an underdog. The next Steve Jobs will totally be a chick, because girls are No. 2—and No. 2 always wins in America. Apple was a No. 2 company for years, and Apple embodies a lot of what have been defined as feminine traits: an emphasis on intuitive design, intellect, a strong sense of creativity, and that striving to always make the greatest version of something. Traditionally, men are more like Microsoft, where they'll just make a fake version of what that chick made, then beat the shit out of her and try to intimidate everybody into using their product.

Wait a second—why am I trying to persuade someone to have a girl? It's backward. The fact that people have kids because they want something from them is bizarre. As soon as you have a child, that script gets flipped for the rest of your life anyway. It's not about you anymore. I say this so when you have a girl, you don't ask yourself: What am I going to get out of this girl? You're supposed to focus on: What does this girl need from me and what kind of parent do I need to be to her? That's the question you should be asking yourself right now, not whether or not you'll be missing some boy's stupid Little League game.

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[Photo by K.C. Bailey]

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  • Liza Jean

    As a lady-person I'm really glad that the gender responsible with bringing life into the world are no longer seen as the "lesser" gender, at least in civilized countries. (And really how f-ing counterintuitive is it to see the people we're born from as weak?) But making these demonizing generalizations about boys is just the other side of the same coin. We need to get away from trying to put people in tight gendered boxes and then claim that one box, all the time, in every occasion is better or worse than the other. You can recognize the sexism of patriarchy without demonizing men themselves.

  • Judy Garvey

    I'm a girl. This made me chuckle. You are all way too serious. I think you may have missed the point.

  • lindsay manahan

    my classmate's sister-in-law makes $84 hourly on the laptop. She has been fired for 7 months but last month her income was $9078 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Go to this site NuttyRich.cöm

  • Robyn Sheppard

    The title of this article say it all: "The Next Steve Jobs Will Be A Chick." Just how far do we have to go to be called women? Imagine one of these headlines: "The Next Steve Jobs Will Be A Dude," "The Next Steve Jobs Will Be A Queer," or "The Next Steve Jobs Will Be A Wetback." We do alright when we treat other races, orientation, or national origin with respect, but why can't we seem to get serious about women?

    And frankly, I'm not all that concerned with what a stand-up comic has to say about the future of the technology industry.

  • Ashton Meow

    He's a comedian, and this is a moderately tongue-in-cheek, self-deprecating piece of comedic writing. l2interpret. 

  • rogerdunn

    really sad to see someone I admire like Louis CK pander and grovel in such pathetic fashion.  lost his edge pretty fast and seems eager to be accepted by Hollywood group think 

  • bill still

    Its obvious that science is aimed at men. The experiment steps were:
    1. Light Bunsen burner
    2. While holding test tube with penis.......

  • Catherine Lathwell

    I think you can see for yourself where you juxtapose "girls" with "men" rather than "women" with "men" and "girls" with "boys".  I'm sympathetic having just removed 15 references to "girl" from my own blog. 

    As rants go, this is a fine one: Caroline Drucker presents How to Get More Women in Tech in Under a Minute at Ignite NYC:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v... 

  • Haris Saleem

    If girls really were so smart, even the first Steve Jobs would have been a girl. Lol

  • A dad

    I am a big Louis CK fan, but this article is little more than linkbait with a famous name tacked on. Anecdotal evidence is all this article offers. Mr. CK evinces anxiety about every loose-hanging thread of his personality in his standup and tv shows, and it's very funny, but actually waxing philosophical on the validity of one sex over another (!) is divisive and moronic. Mr. CK, what you are showing is the psychological phenomenon known as projection. You may be a rotten individual, but not all men are. And incidentally, that's a very glib assessment of the relationship between Microsoft and Apple, too. 

  • John Lake

    How can a woman deny their her child is hers like that piece of shit Steve Jobs did?

  • ayaeien

    I'm actually more disturbed that he thought that his son will become shitty. I mean seriously, what kind of message that will send if he has a son? "I know you will grow up to become a useless young man compared to your sisters. Oh, and your Little League game is stupid, I rather brought your sisters to the shopping mall than attending your match."

    I'm glad he never had a son (yet).

  • lash

    Love this & love Louis CK. Thanks for the girl shout out! I loved every word of this article!

  • Dave Durocher

    I'm sorry Louis C. K. feels this way, my college student son is a huge fan of his. Maybe C.K.'s girls will be lucky enough to meet an incredibly bright and talented, skateboarding music/tech guy like him someday. 

  • ProleScum

    "Girls are still the underdog." Hmm...
    Take a look at this (Warning: graphic and disturbing): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
    See the bold text on the screen, eliciting the viewer to "do your part"?

    Get the reference to The S.C.U.M. Manifesto by Valerie Solanas, an influential radical feminist who actually shot two men, one of whom never recovered from his injuries?
    Ask yourself, in what world do "underdogs" feel able to openly advocate murder without the slightest compunction?Louis' feminist masters have taught him well - he manages to teach his daughters that they are victims while pedestalising them at the same time. Result - the bestiality of the unaccountable, as seen above.

  • Pilar Stella

    This is sooo dead on! Thank you...I have recently been reviewing the data and they are jaw dropping...worth checking out http://bit.ly/uVHQAh! Chicks Rule - We aren't only changing business, we are changing the planet! Rock on! ;) p

  • Elise

    Oh dang, where's my bingo card? We've got erroneous statistics, an Ayn Rand quote, a penis envy mention, and the always entertaining testosterone argument. Quick someone cry misandry and we'll have a bingo!

  • meaghan w

    hahahah why did I read the comments to this article. 

    Louis CK paints with the broad brush of the stand-up comedian so obviously there will be some generalizations (WHICH HE ADMITS) but he makes some excellent points. The idea of how a daughter can just be better company to be around reminds me of the stat where couples that have daughters are more likely to divorce than those without, the theory is the mother knows she has a daughter to fall back on emotionally than the one with just sons who might never connect with her. You're the man Louis!!

  • Paul Elam

    "If I'd had a boy, then there'd be two shitty versions of me."
    You're right, and one of you is more than enough, even if you have managed to avoiding implanting your crappy self image into a young male.  

    Seriously, something has happened over the past few years. It culminated, perhaps, with those assclowns who did the "conscious men" video, issuing a blanket apology to all women on behalf of all men. Or maybe it was Hanna Rosin, who successfully pitched the idea that men are toast and women are the toaster.  Who knows, but all this obsequious pablum from vagina beggars seems to be all the rage. 

    Lord, make it stop.