New Social Media Bizwords

WE TRIED changing our email address, but when Internet guru Alex Blagg of BajillionHits.biz heard we were doing a special section on networks, he started friending us across every social network, insisting that we include his list of Hot New Social Media Bizwords 2.0. | Illustrations by Andrew Rae

Yelpulitzer

The distinguished award reserved for the person who achieves the highest critical excellence in writing 8,000-word treatises on your local hole-in-the-wall Thai place.

Twittervention

A gathering of deeply concerned friends and coworkers who attempt to confront Twitter holdouts about why they haven’t signed up for an account and joined the party already.

Return on LinkedInvestment

The amount of actual career opportunities that materialize in relation to the amount of time you spend futzing around with your LinkedIn profile.

Instagroan

The response you get for taking a picture of your lunch sandwich, adding a grainy ’70s filter, and showing it off around the office like you’re Diane Arbus. (See also: “Behind-the-Back Flickoffr”)

Zyngeist

Being on the cutting edge of the very latest VampireVille-Mafia-Scrabble Facebook games with which to relentlessly spam friends, family, and random people you met once at a meeting.

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