The Season to Share Stories

Truth be told I am not one for writing up year of end stories though I respect those who do it well. But this season I have noticed something about the holiday season that has gone largely unnoticed by me until now.

Year's end is really a time of stories. This is likely natural to those of us who live in the Northern Hemisphere. Winter solstice was a time when our ancestors would find themselves indoors in close quarters around a fire or an open hearth. When people gather stories come forth some amusing, some profound and some inspirational.

This year the stories that resonate with me are instructive. After two years of a brutal recession stories of people who did all things in moderation (that is did not binge on credit) find themselves out of work, out of houses, and in some cases out of luck. We hear their stories in the news as well as in our communities.

Yet what I have heard over and over again is not despair but resilience. As bad a hand has some people have been dealt, they have found the will to continue facing life squarely without blinking. This point came home to me when listening to Roger Rosenblatt discuss his memoir, Making Toast, about raising his daughter's children. His daughter Amy died suddenly leaving behind three small children. Rosenblatt and his wife assumed parental responsibility.

Speaking on The Diane Rehm Show Rosenblatt, an essayist and PBS NewsHour commentator, fielded calls from people who had their own stories of personal loss, most often the lost of someone who died well before their time. One man spoke of losing a five-year-old special needs daughter. Another spoke of losing a brother.

One woman summed up the spirit of the hour when she spoke of losing a son who had suffered from diabetes and later MS. For years her son had been angry and bitter and asking aloud "Why?" But as years passed he became, in the words of his mother, "a sweet wise man." One day his mother asked him "Okay, why you?" and he looked at her and replied, "Why not me?"

Later his mother asked him how he had found a way to let go of his anger, he replied in halting speech, "I noticed that being angry didn't help anything." His deadpan quip cracked her up. And now amid her grief of his recent passing she wanted others to know her son's powerful lesson of learning to live with unrelenting adversity.

Year's end is a time of reflection. It is a time to remember all we have to be thankful for. But our thanks should keep in mind those for whom the past year has not been good. Rosenblatt spoke of the connectedness of the human family, very often uniting strangers through suffering and grief. The way to honor that connectedness is to share it with others through your own story, your own example, and when possible your own giving.

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John Baldoni is an internationally recognized leadership development consultant, executive coach, author, and speaker. In 2010 Top Leadership Gurus named John one of the world's top 25 leadership experts. John's newest book is 12 Steps to Power Presence: How to Assert Your Authority to Lead. Amacom 2010). Readers are welcome to visit John's website, www.johnbaldoni.com