While you were sleeping, innovation was punching a British guy who looks like Frodo in the chops, pulling on his Bayou-sourced alligator cowboy boots and getting down to business. Thwack!
1. "Stay calm, get organized quickly." This is the mission statement of BP's new guy in charge of the Deepwater leak, or spill response, as it's called. Robert "Bob" Dudley is a Mississipian "good ol' boy", according to one oil analyst. Meanwhile, a Louisiana court has overturned Obama's ban on deepwater drilling, citing the fact that an "ecosystem"—this time of businesses—is at stake. But, whoops, the judge who blocked the block had stocks in Transocean, Haliburton, and other companies close to this crude mess in the Gulf. And, besides, Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar just went and issued a new order reinstating the block, which was blocked. To summarize: The block on the block has been blocked.
2. Here's another fine mess you've got us into, Stanley. General Stanley A. McChrystal, Commander of U.S. troops in Afghanistan is on his way home to stand on the naughty step after an interview with Rolling Stone (strapline—the real enemy: the wimps in the White House.) The battle for Obama's heart and mind starts here, as the precedent for calling out your C-in-C ain't pretty. Still, if it does goes badly, maybe McChrystal could apply for a Border Patrol post.
3. It's not what you'd call truly innovative, but in the world of bright lights, make-up artists, floor managers, and talent, when the power suffers an outy, you gotta think on your feet. And that's what Jimmy Kimmel did on Monday night, when his personal fiefdom in Teeveelandia went "Phut." Got a webcam, sacked the floor manager, cameramen, and did the show himself. (Note to lawyers, I don't think he really sacked them. It's just me being a twerp.)
4.If you didn't already know, this week is the Cannes Lions International Advertising Festival. Diesel's winning campaign actually shared the spotlight with a lesser-known Argentine beer called Andes, which took the prize for its very funny "Teleporter" campaign. And don't forget, guys, if you let your girlfriend watch this, she'll never believe you again.
5. No matter what side of the fence you're on, today is D-Day for the majority of our readers. That's right, it's U.S.A. vs. Algeria, and England (or, to give it its proper pronunciation, Engerland) vs. Slovenia. Nails have already been bitten down to the quick, the dodgy refereeing decisions discussed ad infinitum, players have considered a rebellion, decided it was too hard to spell and so have meekly joined their lamb-like counterparts and their fierce pastore, Fabio Capello. Anyway, join with us at 10 a.m. EST and see the true meaning of multitasking as we watch the match, blow our vuvuzelas, and write our little football-shaped hearts out.