Pimp My Snuggie 2.0

Memo to: Scott Boilen, President & CEO of Allstar Marketing Group (Snuggie's creator)
From: Fast Company East Coast Marketing and Microwave Oven Programming Dept.

Steven Zampieri in Snuggie Congratulations! So far, more than 4 million customers have joined the Snuggie revolution, and at least 17 of them didn't get it as a gag gift. You have created a hit that will live forever in the annals of popular culture. I, for one, can hardly wait to see Mo Rocca on VH1 donning one during "I Love 2009," airing next week. Although your idea may not be original (see: Slanket), a wildly cheap and effective marketing campaign has cemented your place as the sleeved blanket of choice for Americans fearful of having their arms "trapped inside" conventional blankets. And you did all this without the help of Billy Mays or Vince. Shamwow indeed!

With the Slanket and even higher-end products clawing for market share amongst the millions of Americans for whom a blanket is just a cuddlier straight jacket, it's imperative that you push out Snuggie 2.0 without delay. Here are some ideas to give extra "legs" to the Snuggie brand:

Snuggielupagus

My hands are free, which is great if I'm driving and feel a bit of a draft, but I'm scaring the children. Let's put some footies on this bad boy! Think of this as a fuzzy, lovable imaginary creature that kids will cling to--literally--and run wild with it.

A.W.S. – The All-Weather Snuggie

snuggie people Part of your ad shows a family of 3 attending an outdoor sporting event. (Unfortunately, the pre-adolescent daughter doesn't seem to be faring too well with the "one-size-fits-all" sleeves.) But why should Snuggie owners be limited to being spectators? This is obviously a product for people with active lifestyles. We need to communicate that brand message. Think: Gore-Tex, wind flaps, and of course, camouflage. Am I blowing your mind yet?

Siamese Snuggie (or for the P.C. crowd, the Conjoined Couch Coat)

When I am resting in my wearable blanket, I like to snuggle up with my significant other. Sure, she could use her own Snuggie, but this is America, where we can sell two products when one will do. This Snuggie will have four arms, all in a row, so we can be literally joined at the hip while we watch The Girls Next Door, until I ask why my girlfriend can't be more like Kendra. And that, my friend, is why the Siamese Snuggie will have a top-to-bottom zipper in the middle--so I can be snug when I sleep alone on the couch later that night.

Fuel Cell Snuggie

You may not know this, but our engineers estimate that there is enough static electricity generated by your 100% polyester wonder to power a small Midwestern city. Dubuque, let's say. If we could simply harness that stored energy, we could not only reduce our dependence on foreign oil, but perhaps we can get the government to agree to outfit all of its employees with a Snuggie in the next stimulus bill. A miniature fuel cell sewn into the lining could capture more than enough juice to juice Allstar's profits to Exxon levels, or at least recharge your free book light.

Snuggle-branded Snuggie

Alternately, how about partnering with the fabric softener Snuggle and offer a free miniature Snuggle bear wearing a Snuggie for people who call in the next 20 minutes?

snuggie remote SnugSpace

Snuggie fans are banding together. This could be exactly what Revelations foretold, but I think it's bigger than that. Snuggie Sightings hit Google Trend's #1 spot at the end of January, Snuggie Pub Crawls are being organized across the country, and there are over 15,000 fans of the Snuggie page on Facebook. Snuggie needs to give consumers an official virtual venue for sharing stories about reading in cold, dark rooms.

The Bat-Snuggie

If Batman can carry a first aid kit, smoke grenades, and a grappling hook in his belt with room to spare for Batarangs, the Snuggie should be able to tote couch potato paraphernalia too. Think of this as the ultimate cross-branding opportunity: A pocket for the new Windows smartphone (preset to receive SnugSpace updates); a detachable Michelob koozie (Weekends are made for being passed out like a drunken monk); and the Frito-Layabout pocket (complete with warm cheese dispenser powered by that fuel cell).

You're welcome.

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14 Comments

  • Jen Olson

    I know I'm probably late to the party, but I just saw they added yet another product to the snuggle blanket line where you can get them with logos. I thought after the dog one they would have stopped, but these things are like gremlins.

  • Louann Oravec

    I see the lady with the little girl on her lap. Why not make a snuggie attached to the lady's snuggie, child size.

  • David Weitzman

    Steve - Great article!! Glad to see Fast Company has finally started tapping into your vast talents...

  • Paul Maiorana

    Hospitals would be a great market for the makers of Snuggie to move into. What is the Snuggie, really, but an updated hospital gown?

  • Lynne d Johnson

    @Amy: Pimp also has another connotation often used in the urban lexicon. Pimp can mean that something is fresh or cool, or is being made to look fresh or cool. Or, you could be pimpin', which would mean you were the ultimate cool.

  • Brian Cooley

    How about the Sky Snuggie? Perfect airline in-flight accessory. Airlines could even upcharge for it.

  • Amy Ouzoonian

    The word pimp refers to a man that manipulates young women (as young as 13 or 14) into having sex with "Johns" for money that the girl will probably never see. I am so sickened by the use of the word and think that you should seriously reconsider its importance in this equally ridiculous article.

  • NoahRobischon

    @Evan: Super-absorbent SnugWow is excellent idea! It's a towel and a bath mat... but does it still come with the free book light?

  • Evan Webb

    What about a Snuggie / Sham-wow joint-venture? Nothing could hold you back in life when you have a super-absorbent robe that you wear backwards...

  • Mike Caplan

    What about the Office Snuggie? Think of the positive impact on worker productivity due to a significant increase in comfort. Forget the antiquated suit and tie…how many Snuggies can we buy with government bailout funds – hold on AIG, help is on the way – thy name is Snuggie!

  • Snuggie PubCrawls.com

    I am glad to see that you have visited http://www.snuggiepubcrawls.co... and were inspired to use Pimp My Snuggie in the headline of your article. The Pimp My Snuggie term first appeared on SnuggiePubCrawls.com on 3.6.09 right after Oprah wore a Pink Snugglette and Tyler Perry wore a Designer Snuggie. So the Snuggie people are way ahead of you and Snuggie 2.0 is here - you can go to http://www.designersnuggies.co... for the Designer Snuggies, including Leopard and Zebra prints, and http://www.snugglettes.com/fla... to check out the Pink and Blue Snugglettes for kids - and yes, Oprah did wear a Pink Snugglette on Friday...